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10 Comments

  1. “..from inquiring whether she was geting married to a photograph and a SMS” : well put!

    i really like your women-centric blog – linked you as soon as i saw it. way to go! 🙂

  2. what a big to-do over something so trivial! a rose by any name…? how many women are truly that- a beautiful bloom that envelops every one who comes within her environ with her beautiful fragrance? no man can prove his match by being a woman as he can never bear or breast-feed a child. so why this constant struggle to “prove” equality or superiority? So silly! If there is indeed a need for growth, let us “rise” above this silliness and find our spiritual identity. Even for a woman, she bears many identities- daughter, sister, wife, mother, professional, amateur, friend, grandmother… likewise man- son, brother, husband, father, professional, amateur, friend, grandfather… which of these identities are more or less? They all attribute to an individual at any given point in time and space. What is beyond all these or what is the leitmotif inherent in all these?

    laundry needs to be done. who does it and how are issues that need working out between partners without any exploitation.The key is being a partner raqther than being the oppressed or the oppressor. and that goes either ways- it could be either sex.

  3. i don’t think i can change the world, i’m not even trying to, but just trying to change my little world. u are right, i would be damned if i go down without a fight. even if this means my father in law calling me a ‘feminist’ and thinks is a passing ‘fad’ to keep you maiden surname. can u believe that!! i’m not changing my name for anybody. i have much respect for my parents and where i come from. i am not going to change it for someone who has spent a fraction of his life with me. NO. NEVER

  4. Now I could swear when I left that comment, there was a comment by Modified which I was replying to. Now that comment is gone.
    Smithy, your blog eating up comments or am I drinking too much?

  5. @modified:
    “marrying a good looking homely wife will not be good if she does not respect your thinking, views…….. ”

    Frankly, marrying any wife will not be good, irrespective of her respect.

    But yes, marrying someone who would make a good looking homely wife will not be good if she does not respect your thinking, views.

    🙂

  6. This is very sad Smithy, but very true, not only in India but in most countries. I think that is all up to you, it’s your choice. You choose to leave your life and even your own self when you decide WHO to marry. Luckily, you don’t just go with the flow, you’re an intelligent woman who will be very careful of choosing a life partner that understands that fully respects your ideas and doesn’t want to change you a bit.

  7. Nothing could be said to justify what you talk about, and it continues to this day. But there is hope yet.. reasonable hope. Most of the current generation seem to look for the same things in a woman that she would look for in a man.
    About name changes, sad but true, patriarchal families have followed this practice. It would be ideal if both genders modified last names, just so an offspring would not have to deal with the confusion of two last names!
    You don’t have to go down fighting, just keep your last name too 😉

  8. The name changing thing irks me to no end. Why would i go ahead and change the name that I have bourne all my life – all my certificates bear the name and then suddenly take on a stanger’s name? It sucks. Cooking – well yeah if you are marrying a girl for her cooking, might as well employ a cook, but then a wife would be a free cook.
    My sister is not changing her surname when she shall be getting married – it created a few issues but she stood firm.

  9. I can cook. Thats the first thing that will go down on my matrimonial resume. 😀 But then, does my wife to be have a green card? High paying job? A Ph.D? Would that question go down well with the womenkind (rather, parents of the woman)? Unfortunately women are married off to men on basis of these things (there are exceptions). Parents look for a guy with security. The day they start looking for guys who can cook, the world will change. Its a simple supply-demand logic which people like us are trying to change. Unfortunately (or fortunately) Rome was not built in a day.

    “Caesar would not be a wolf but for the fact that he knows the Romans to be sheep”

    Yup, stop being the sheep and others will stop being a wolf.