Womanhood

Confused Patriarchy Made Me A Feminist
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Confused Patriarchy Made Me A Feminist

Why does a woman have to earn a life of dignity through abuse & assault when men receive it as birthright?

People I Didn’t Want To Think About
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People I Didn’t Want To Think About

The richness of women’s relationships with each other may be as much in the disrupted seeds as in the fruition.

BOOK: Home – Manju Kapur | Coming Back To Me
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BOOK: Home – Manju Kapur | Coming Back To Me

A lovely return to my late 20s where books absorbed me with a rigour I did not experience in my social or professional life.

Finding Myself In My Body: Reclaiming Pain
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Finding Myself In My Body: Reclaiming Pain

A house that is a warzone. A courtroom for custody battles. Dumping ground for other people’s pain. My body.

A Truce With Gender
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A Truce With Gender

If I were fifteen years younger, I’d identify as nonbinary. Or maybe not, I don’t know if the beaten gender path has beat me down too often mercilessly.

BOOK | Fearlessly Flying With Erica Jong
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BOOK | Fearlessly Flying With Erica Jong

Giving sex an easy place in my mind, required moving around the furniture inside my head โ€“ old traumas, inherited shame, cultural taboos. This book taught me flying.

A Refugee From Amatonormativity
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A Refugee From Amatonormativity

I’ve heard of asexuality, aromanticism and polyamory. Then a friend sent me this video talking about AMATONORMATIVITY. Well-meaning friends have gently (or bluntly) told me that my experiences of abuse turned me against men/marriage. There may be some truth to that. The very thought of weddings – invitations, over-the-top engagement…

The “Do They Treat You Well?” Play
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The “Do They Treat You Well?” Play

I was watching an episode of ‘Kim’s Convenience’ where a concerned (possibly over protective) family is talking to their daughter about her love life. One of them asks, “Does he treat you well?” And I realised no one had ever asked me that. Not family members, not friends, not classmates,…

Reluctantly Seeking Shah Rukh Fans
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Reluctantly Seeking Shah Rukh Fans

I visited North India (Himachal Pradesh & Chandigarh) this week. The last time I was there was in 2018, pulled abruptly out of an impending midlife crisis & looming health scares to cremate an unexpectedly deceased relative. I’ve never liked the mountains. My only associations with them have been under…

My Solo Dating Life
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My Solo Dating Life

Solo dates are my most enjoyable dates. Everything else is a blur of regressive social rituals, burdensome insights into other people slipping out from badly created pretences. The agency to be solo is hardwon. Solitude is a privilege for women. Everyone tries to fill up a woman’s time with their…

I Don’t Belong Here
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I Don’t Belong Here

These carefree whistlersgirls throwing hearts & bodies outto men who will let them falland men who will pick them uponly to throw them backI have been thrown away,thrown over, thrown backI don’t belong here The screaming thundersdripping rage & accusationsto fertile minds that will turn theminto gangrene & cancerThe storms…

Fairytale
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Fairytale

I want a new fairytaleFairytales are greatI want a new fairytaleFor every single day Write me a book of fairytalesThat build a universewith bricks of paper,Where love doesnโ€™t feel like a curseRoads of words where hope doesnโ€™t turn into vapourBring me a fairytale I havenโ€™t heard beforeReplenish the wonder I…

๐—ฆ๐—˜๐—Ÿ๐—™-๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—™๐—ข๐—ฅ ๐—š๐—œ๐—ฅ๐—Ÿ๐—ฆ๐Ÿคนโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ
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๐—ฆ๐—˜๐—Ÿ๐—™-๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—™๐—ข๐—ฅ ๐—š๐—œ๐—ฅ๐—Ÿ๐—ฆ๐Ÿคนโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ

Girl, love yourself though it be hard. I know sis, I know, I’m there with you too. Though I don’t quite know how to do this right, I’m learning. And this means unlearning everything we have been taught since birth about what love means, what us means, what I means….

A Peach For Breakfast
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A Peach For Breakfast

My Clubhouse room prompt for this week via fellow host Tareque Laskar was SPELLBOUND. For this I cheated (slightly) and blended two of my old posts together. It was an interesting exercise, personally than for my writing since one of the posts was written 15 years ago. I remember feeling…

Vanity Is A Superpower
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Vanity Is A Superpower

I feel like I’m a different person out in the world. I enjoy dressing up because I love the reactions of the world to my style. It’s not always positive. I also find ridicule, envy, shaming & other things. Each is a reaction, a conversation with society, with humanity in…

People Who Married Too Early
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People Who Married Too Early

In my 20s, I battled the Forced FOMO of Marriage. I didn’t feel I was missing out. There were so many other exciting things to pursue: fulfilling career, confidence-boosting style, enriching social life, so many hobbies. My then-friends began assaults on my life choices. I was made to pick a…

The Love Depths
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The Love Depths

We don’t love people because they deserve it. We love people because we deserve it. Because this feeling is a healing one. It’s joyful and ticklish and inspiring and uplifting. We all deserve to feel that way some time. It can feel like hurt & pain, especially if like me,…

A Rather Long Monologue But It’s Poetic
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A Rather Long Monologue But It’s Poetic

Loving and being loved are two entirely different, independent human experiences. We are not taught either. If we’re lucky both of them are modeled for us in clear, unambiguous ways. But I live in a culture of overpopulation & poverty where the very act of survival is the biggest achievement…

Where’s The Flirty Party?
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Where’s The Flirty Party?

Flirting feels like a massive party I haven’t been invited to. A concert that’s playing all around me & everyone’s vibing to it, except me. I can’t hear it, I can’t see it. I can pick up when people are attracted to me but that’s from years of being the…

๐Ÿ†ƒ๐Ÿ…ท๐Ÿ…ด ๐Ÿ…ฟ๐Ÿ…พ๐Ÿ…ป๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ†ƒ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ…ฒ๐Ÿ…ฐ๐Ÿ…ป ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ†‚๐Ÿ…ฝ’๐Ÿ†ƒ ๐Ÿ…น๐Ÿ†„๐Ÿ†‚๐Ÿ†ƒ ๐Ÿ…ฟ๐Ÿ…ด๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†‚๐Ÿ…พ๐Ÿ…ฝ๐Ÿ…ฐ๐Ÿ…ป, ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ†ƒ’๐Ÿ†‚ ๐Ÿ…ด๐Ÿ…ผ๐Ÿ…พ๐Ÿ†ƒ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ…พ๐Ÿ…ฝ๐Ÿ…ฐ๐Ÿ…ป
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๐Ÿ†ƒ๐Ÿ…ท๐Ÿ…ด ๐Ÿ…ฟ๐Ÿ…พ๐Ÿ…ป๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ†ƒ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ…ฒ๐Ÿ…ฐ๐Ÿ…ป ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ†‚๐Ÿ…ฝ’๐Ÿ†ƒ ๐Ÿ…น๐Ÿ†„๐Ÿ†‚๐Ÿ†ƒ ๐Ÿ…ฟ๐Ÿ…ด๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ†‚๐Ÿ…พ๐Ÿ…ฝ๐Ÿ…ฐ๐Ÿ…ป, ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ†ƒ’๐Ÿ†‚ ๐Ÿ…ด๐Ÿ…ผ๐Ÿ…พ๐Ÿ†ƒ๐Ÿ…ธ๐Ÿ…พ๐Ÿ…ฝ๐Ÿ…ฐ๐Ÿ…ป

Why do abused women support misogynist regimes? Maybe it’s because their violators were feminists. What, is that not possible? Yes, it is. I’m living proof that it happens. Feminism, activism, promises & politics are words. Hot air, marks on surfaces. Sometimes those marks are wounds on bodies & minds. Ideas…