The two couples reach a foreign city where they make their home, from a Tuti-nama (Tales of a Parrot): Thirty-third Night

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    1. @Rambler: Meaning do we end up comparing how we are as a couple versus how the other couple is? Yes, I think that does happen to some extent. Fortunately in this case, I think we all relate closely enough to each other for it to not seem unsavoury. Also, I think we all respect our individuality and understand that comparisons don’t work beyond a point. It’s vital to keep everyone’s good humour intact.

  1. I understand completely from where do you come from in this post. My Boyfriend and I also face exactly the same situation most of the time. While most of our friends are not attached, the few who are, either I am not fond of their better half or the boyfriend is not!
    So, it is a refreshing change when you have a couple of ‘couple’ friends who don’t mind if you are holding hands etc with other public around! 🙂

    As usual, very articulate in your thoughts! 🙂

  2. Firstly this is post is fantastic as is most of your writing. I must admit I take relationship, career and even bedroom tips from Cosmos, GQ, the Digest, and blog posts of other brilliant copywriter friends like you. Back to the topic discussed in this post, this is a first and very well written, and easy to read. I am only now discovering the Joys of ‘we’ friends and couple type outings and I admit the interplays are not easy to manage- I want to ask you – how to manage when a] the men in the relationship think women of the group should bond separately and men do their thing (read thing as drink-up) and you and your partner don’t agree b] the couple type have a kid and you’re just married and outings are always for 5people? And c] your partner wants to enjoy as much as you (have a drink, take a drag, shake a leg) but the better halves of the other pieces in the permutation rather change diapers and chase after their toddlers. grrrrrrrrrrr

    1. @valroy: Firstly, thank you for that detailed comment! Secondly, I do apologize for replying so late but I’ve been caught up in some personal stuff. Now to the questions. There are no right answers of course, so I’ll just talk about what I do.

      a. I don’t really socialize with a lot of people like that. Being fairly opinionated on the ideas of women’s freedom and gender stereotyping, I think I automatically repel people who think in such conventional models. Luckily for me, the boy holds similar sentiments (even more so!) and wouldn’t get along with someone who thought women should stick to their type and the men should bond. If such a situation were to arise, I’d probably not even want to bond with such people and leave it to my partner to go socialize with them on his own time. For women who hold such conventional notions, I can manage some small-talk but not real friendships so interactions would be only when absolutely necessary.

      b. I do have a few friends like that and I can see the boy may not enjoy socializing with them. So we usually do our own thing. I like children myself and the kids of my friends are adorable so I meet them by myself.

      c. I can see myself in the poor girl’s place very well. I like children but I love my sparkling life too. If the parents are my friends, I can do b. and socialize with them seperately on their terms and keep the partying to the rest of my social circle. But if they are friends of my partner, I guess I’ll just grin and bear it and only when I absolutely have to.

      All three cases as you can see, don’t qualify for the kind of couple-friendship I’ve talked about in the post. The first wouldn’t be even friends with either of us, let alone both. The second and third would be friends with either me or my partner. In a couple-friendship, all the permutations and combinations work without too much social stress on any of the four (or more if there are kids) people.