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  1. This is nearly identical situation to my past girlfriend. she was a free-spirit and enjoyed spending time with all her single clingy girlfriends and flirting and teasing her entouage of guy friends. she never cheated but enjoyed being validated constantly and not caring. She was basically very independent and in my eyes began living the single life but at the same time needed me, catch 22. Basically i felt disrespected and no longer admired. In the end i had to break up with her as i no longer felt wanted or needed. She openly admitted that she’s commitment phobic and we’ve moved on for the better.

  2. @Rakhi: I think the trouble is when one or both of the people in the couple think the relationship should be about being stuck together all the time OR about being mirror-images of each other. I’ve been talking to some couples recently, happy with each other and I find the common thread linking them all is the balance they’ve struck between togetherness and independance.

    By the way, I had forgotten about this post. Reading your comment made me revisit (and rethink) some of my old attitudes, in light with what I know now. So thank you! 🙂

  3. hmm i’m a virgo which means my ruling element is earth but then how the hell do i exhibit signs of a cancerian? Why is it that I’ve almost exactly the same problems?
    “I can’t bear too much closeness after a bit. Ask my family, ask my best friend (don’t bother asking my boyfriends….they all thought it was PMS)…and they’ll tell you I get cranky if I’ve been in their company too long. People who’ve stayed a part of my life a long time are those who’ve learnt to realise it isn’t personal and I just need a little time to mess around alone. Boyfriends never realise such things. Oh well, I don’t want to realise it myself about the person I’m dating so its only fair I suppose.”

    This is soooo me!! And because I dish it out quite frequently I have to gulp some of it down when someone else does it. And hence the confusion as in exactly when the backing off is really important for my sanity. 😀 Or backing off for a few hours would do the trick. sigh…. the complexities of human relationships now exhaust me. 🙂