Masculinity

Confused Patriarchy Made Me A Feminist
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Confused Patriarchy Made Me A Feminist

Why does a woman have to earn a life of dignity through abuse & assault when men receive it as birthright?

Finding Myself In My Body: Reclaiming Pain
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Finding Myself In My Body: Reclaiming Pain

A house that is a warzone. A courtroom for custody battles. Dumping ground for other people’s pain. My body.

A Truce With Gender
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A Truce With Gender

If I were fifteen years younger, I’d identify as nonbinary. Or maybe not, I don’t know if the beaten gender path has beat me down too often mercilessly.

BOOK | Fearlessly Flying With Erica Jong
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BOOK | Fearlessly Flying With Erica Jong

Giving sex an easy place in my mind, required moving around the furniture inside my head โ€“ old traumas, inherited shame, cultural taboos. This book taught me flying.

Modern Love: The Quest For Identity First
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Modern Love: The Quest For Identity First

What were the brutal experiences of fear, grief & unexpected connections in the last two years but lessons in love & relating? The lockdowns forced me away from my usual coping mechanisms & distractions. What is left when all assumptions are stripped away? Love & Identity As a metropolitan Indian…

Gehraiyaan: A Good Galentine’s Day Release & An Okay Solo Date Watch
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Gehraiyaan: A Good Galentine’s Day Release & An Okay Solo Date Watch

Spoiler alert: This post talks about the film Gehraiyaan & references several key plot points. If you haven’t seen the film & plan to, please do not read further. Trigger warnings: Childhood neglect, self-harm, abuse, infidelity. ~O~O~O~O~O~O~ Yes, I said that. I know today is Valentine’s Day & this film…

Fairytale
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Fairytale

I want a new fairytaleFairytales are greatI want a new fairytaleFor every single day Write me a book of fairytalesThat build a universewith bricks of paper,Where love doesnโ€™t feel like a curseRoads of words where hope doesnโ€™t turn into vapourBring me a fairytale I havenโ€™t heard beforeReplenish the wonder I…

๐—ฆ๐—˜๐—Ÿ๐—™-๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—™๐—ข๐—ฅ ๐—š๐—œ๐—ฅ๐—Ÿ๐—ฆ๐Ÿคนโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ
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๐—ฆ๐—˜๐—Ÿ๐—™-๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—™๐—ข๐—ฅ ๐—š๐—œ๐—ฅ๐—Ÿ๐—ฆ๐Ÿคนโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ

Girl, love yourself though it be hard. I know sis, I know, I’m there with you too. Though I don’t quite know how to do this right, I’m learning. And this means unlearning everything we have been taught since birth about what love means, what us means, what I means….

~B~L~U~E~ or A Rejection Of Romance
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~B~L~U~E~ or A Rejection Of Romance

His voice holds me. His words unravel me. And the trouble is the unraveling, the undoing, the blurring continue long after the voice has gone silent, the line cold. Because words, they linger. Burning flesh wounds inside defenses. And everything else feels harder, sharper, steelier. I am in a world…

To The Guy Who Likes Long Drives
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To The Guy Who Likes Long Drives

I wrote to all the guys who list ‘long drives’ as what they like on dating apps

Can Masculinity Be Safe?
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Can Masculinity Be Safe?

A lot of straight women feel safer around gay men. It has felt, I’ve thought, like having a girl best friend but who can drop me home when it gets late. Yes, that’s shallow. But also, what does it say about masculinity (since straight men have led the charge on…

The Feminine Side Of A Man
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The Feminine Side Of A Man

I’m told this means traits like gentleness, delicacy, modesty, being nurturing. Why are these feminine? The argument goes that biological roles dictate these gendered traits. But who says decisiveness is not a maternal (supposedly feminine) trait? Or the ability to adapt & compromise doesn’t align with the hunter instinct (traditionally…

An Evolving Friendzone
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An Evolving Friendzone

Should gender matter in friendship? That’s a question I’ve been asking myself my whole life. After all, gender is a social set of rules (a construct as some call it). Some people follow the rules more vehemently than others. Rules exist to contain & direct human behaviour and almost always…

Alt-Masculine
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Alt-Masculine

The way I relate to men comes from some toxic experiences I’ve had with men I cared about. It has been hard to see past those traumas & rise above the gaslighting of being a ‘man-hater’ just for having a strong sense of my own identity. There is some notion…

On The Sitcom Couch
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On The Sitcom Couch

I’ve been watching FRIENDS. I’ve only known of it through extensive pop culture references. I’m only watching it because my content needs are very specific now – nothing dark/gristly (goodbye 75% of heavily promoted streaming content and all of social media), nothing deliberately addictive (tata, cliffhanger ending seasons). And I’ve…

Male Vulnerability
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Male Vulnerability

I read a really lovely book, featuring a club of men in traditionally macho professions (sports jocks, nightclub owners) getting together to learn about women and relationships by reading romance novels. The premise tickled me and its chicklit style carried me through well. Most of all, I found myself feeling…

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A Thousand Apologies

After I asked women to share instances when men apologized to them, I realised something stood in the way of men and the word SORRY. I want to believe men are as rational & feeling as women and can see the damage done by not taking responsibility for their actions….

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Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

I asked women to tell me about a time a man apologised to them. Genuinely, taking responsibility for his actions/words, acknowledging damage done. I received one story about an apology followed by remedying the situation. Another spoke about apologies becoming excuses to turn the blame onto her. One spoke of…

Men With Dark Pasts – Indian Matrimony’s Vyasar
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Men With Dark Pasts – Indian Matrimony’s Vyasar

We glorify the dude with the dark past. The slightest chink in the brick wall facade that he calls a personality, is celebrated. But does he deserve us?

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Feminism Is A Conversation

Navigating A Feminist Identity Last evening was a series of odd events. It started when I was hosting an open mic. One of the performers ranted about being friendzoned, spewing vitriol on the woman and ended up calling the audience boring because nobody would applaud. While this person was still…