Protection – A Monologue

What lies behind protectiveness?

Would you beat up someone for me? If I got hurt, would you want revenge? And why?
Nothing you do or say can change what has happened.
There is a certain helplessness about not being able to change the past. I can feel it and I imagine you feel it too. Is it because you are supposed to be responsible for me? Is it because my well-being and safety validate your existence in my life?

In that case, isn’t your protection only to prove a point about you?
To show that you’re playing your role as protector, friend, guide, lover, father, brother…so well?

And what is behind my mask of indifferent independence?

Am I too proud to admit I need help?
Am I too scared to admit I could be scared too?
Do I want you to understand that without my saying it at all?
Do I want to be protected without acknowledging the protection?

Do I want to even remember that I have been hurt?
Do I want to look at wounds that exist
Or do I just want to look away and pretend everything is perfect?

And in the midst of all this….there are such labels as love and jealousy and comittment and security to save us from having to face reality.