Manguide 2: Professionals

Having looked at men by places, let’s classify them by profession now. After all, what you do/study does as much influence you as where you call home. Once again I pull from my varied experiences with men for another chapter of the Manguide. It’s mostly men I’ve dated but also men I’ve been friends with, studied with, worked with and oh…not to mention the ones my friends dated (ah yes, I know a fair bit about this group too, even while they may not even know that I exist. I’ve spoken of the Formidable Friend earlier.)

So here are some of the types of men you’re likely to run into:

The Engineer: This describes most of the men I’ve dated so it might follow that I particularly like this type. Or that they like me. Well. Mostly this lot likes to pretend that they’re starved for female company. The nice thing about these guys is that they are generally bright and interesting. At least initially they’re nice to you, on account of being in the company of a ‘non-male’ as they like to describe their female classmates. Sub-classifications: Mechanical/Production – the rawest of the lot in their language but in my esteemed opinion the most intelligent. Right after that Civil/Electrical. At the bottom but smart nevertheless are the flashy Electronics/Computers guys.

The Software Geek/ Techie: Since I hail from the land of idlis, kanjeevarams and the Great Indian Software Dream, it follows that I’ve so much interaction with this sort that I should practically exhale code. Black sheep I am though and I’ve managed to neatly evade marriage by shutting out this specimen altogether. That doesn’t stop them from swarming all over my life. So this is a man who can give an opponent a tough run for his money….except computers don’t have wallets. In a study done somewhere by somebody, they asked a group of different people to draw an image of how they saw themselves. All the IT nerds drew a computer monitor. They have money (and paunches straining under the Infy tees), the drive too…but oh well, do you want to date a machine?

The Artist: I’ve never actually dated this type but they make for really interesting conversationalists. Well at least, they’re emotional men or they do a damned better job of pretending to be than the rest of their clan. Musicians, actors, painters, writers…..men who create are certainly worthy of respect. The bohemian garb appeals to my non-conformist side but an occasional shave would be much appreciated.

The Accountant: Blech. Blech. Blech. Need I say more? I’d like a guy to admire my figure, not tell me how much I’m worth in rupee terms.

The M.B.A.: Ah, this is the sort I run into most often……the country is swarming with them!!!!!!! Of course, I should probably sub-classify them. The smooth-talkers have to be the Marketing guys, the silent (and often interesting) types studied Operations (yup, that’s a b-school degree too), the yawn-yawn ones are Finance and the Systems guys are well…refer to the Techie.

The pedigreed pup: Okay, have the IIMs developed a special lab and begun breeding like crazy? I’m jumping into hot water here since every third person I meet (and who reads my blog) seems to have a pedigree. I should caveat (don’t we love that word? Aha…I learn something from my boyfriends after all!)…I do know a few rare exceptions but most of the pedigreed pups I know are insufferable jackasses. Please, sir, a degree does not make you God’s gift to womankind. I inevitably gravitate to some of these types myself….after all, we do like men with ambition, drive and success. But the overcompetitiveness really gets to me. When a pedigreed sort told me recently that women loved him because they thought he was rich, I thought twice about dating him…..I’m neither a gold-digger nor a carefully evaluated-for-worth showpiece.

The agencywalla: These guys are fun. And fast. Ask me, I know more of them than my fair share….like calls to like doesn’t it? They party hard…but it’s a common myth that they work hard. And well, if you looked up the dictionary for ‘burnout’ you just might find a picture of your beau there. Oh but wait, did you have a chance to look at his face before he whizzed off to the next coffee shop/restaurant/pub/DJ contest/concert/rave party?

The Architect: Ah, my second favourite! This guy combines the best of the Engineer and the Artist. He understands science and art (or at least has been taught to). He does have an opinion and is generally confident (watching your entire week’s effort getting ripped apart in front of the class and thrown into the bin has a way of toughening the weakest, I presume). I’ve liked every single architect I’ve met. They’re all strongly individualistic, intelligent and deeply practical. Takes a lot to survive in this industry or so I hear. You may not have enough left for quality time or even big money, though.

The Entrepreneur: Uh, where did you meet this fella? Oh, when he was standing behind you at the billing counter? You thought he was checking you out? Well no, I’ll bet he was trying to figure out what billing software they used so he could try out something like that himself. This is a man who is driven, very, very strongly by a dream. No, let me re-word that. He’s in love with that dream. You can be an accessory in his life and maybe he’ll be nice but you’ll never be the love of his life. He’s already married to it. And believe me, it’s almost as bad as another woman. You can’t even throw catty comments at his work….they’ll just bounce off him or he’ll get fed up with the nagging and stay later at work.

The Hotelier: Why would you want to date a guy who works when everyone else parties? Late nights, weekends, holidays, festivals? Oh, could it be because he looks dapper all the time? Or his smooth manners and courtesy? Well, if you’re looking for a James Bond who knows about housework (but doesn’t necessarily do it), I suggest you plan on becoming Mrs.Hotelier.

The Family Business guy: Umm…..this sort is generally married and papa to two kids by his late twenties, so what on earth are you doing with him?