Stop trying to heal people hoping that they will love you for it. They will not love you as payment for how much effort you put in, on them.
Loving feelings, like plants, need air, clean water, fertile ground & clear space to take seed. When the insides are stuffed with unresolved feelings, they turn to poison. People who do not love themselves, can never love you. There’s no room inside such a heart to grow connection & affection.
It may be tempting to take charge of their tangled insides for them. But there is nothing kind about caging someone into a role – of patient or of the one in distress. Nothing loving. Projecting your favorite story onto someone else is not fair, not sweet or polite. It is understandable, though. We all hold fears & tears. Fantasies give us respite from a reality that seems too hard to bear. Remember dear one, that a myth is only important to the person telling it. You cannot dress someone else’s wounds with bloodied hands & tear-blurred eyes.
The kind of healing I’m talking about, is part of the journey of self-love. The healthiest thing you can do, is to let others learn their lessons without demanding to be their teacher. And find your lessons of love in your own classroom – your self.
Maybe that’s why bonds built in times of distress, rarely last. These need people to be in the cycle of pain & rescue, suffering & nursing to exist. But our journeys are of growth, not permanant wounds. We cannot stay in bandages forever. And even if someone hands us the swabs, the knitting together of wounds, the forming of scars – these must happen in us without assistance or interference.
Your lesson may be to understand what it is to love. Maybe it isn’t only about movement & progress. There is a clarity of being that allows us to laugh, to heal, to connect & to love. Love is a lightness, a form of clean tidiness inside. Tending to your self with gentleness & patience, maybe this is our only quest in healing.