I’ve been quieter with my writing recently. I try to keep my presence online positive & hopeful, a big challenge in recent times. I don’t want to disrespect the listening I get from my followers by expecting them to deal with my shit in addition to their own. So it’s been better to be silent.
I have been exploring the big new fad called Clubhouse & I have so many thoughts. With all the clashing noises, I still have to say I’m thrilled to feel this charge I get from feeling the presence of other people around me. However they are, whoever they are. Because I am a communicator. I am nurtured by connection with other living creatures. And communication is my favorite form of connection.
I wish we’d stop referring to communication as a skill. ’Skill’ implies that it can be taught & expertise gained with time. It’s not. Vocabulary can be learnt. Grammar can be memorised. But communication is about who you are. It is the desire to engage with the world, to commune with the surrounding, connect with another living being.
To communicate is to approach with respect & offer a connection. It is to be open to the unknown realm of reactions that this could invite. You really cannot do this with a script or checklist of demands.
Being a communicator & especially one in the shifting, growing space of digital brings me so much insight about my own self. I find myself overrun, triggered, trolled & violated, yes. But I’m learning to build firmer & better boundaries (rather than defense systems). And I’m learning better who I am.
This is a lot of things. But who I choose to be here, is a person of hope, cheer, gentleness & fun. And when I can’t be, to not be at all here. This doesn’t reduce me. It actually grows me because I’m exercising choice. I am more than the words I say at this moment, the words I say in one place. I am also the words I choose not to share & I am my silences too. I get to decide that.