A Music Lesson With Lolita
Good evening sir. Isnβt aunty home? Oh, I see.
Thank you, Iβm going to a birthday party, thatβs why.
Yes, I chose the dress. Thank you, sir.
Noβ¦
Please donβt.
Iβm not sure if you should.
Iβm not sure what is right.
Yes, I practised last timeβs lesson.
Well, 3 times this week.
You are older than I, and an adult.
And hence you must be right, and I wrong.
But some voice inside me is screaming.
I had to do homework. Really, I practised thrice.
Noβ¦I wasnβt meeting any boys. I donβt have a boyfriend.
I must be really bad for resisting what you tell me.
You can only be doing this for my own good.
Tell the voice to stop.
NOOO!!!!
Shut up shut up shut up why the hell did I wear this dress?
Those are words Iβm not supposed to say.
A well-brought up child does not say shut up.
A good girl takes what is given to her and says thank you.
A child should not be screaming when big people are saying something.
Please donβtβ¦I beg you, donβt make meβ¦
I know Iβm very naughty, I promise Iβm sorry.
Its my fault for wearing this dress.
I promise Iβll study hard and Iβll never lie.
I promise on God and mommy and daddy, Iβll never be bad again.
Please make this screaming go away.
Okay, I will..
But why do I feel wrong?
Mommy will get angry and daddy will too.
I donβt want to displease them.
No, please donβt be angry.
Iβll be good, I promise.
Yes, I know I promised last time..Iβm sorry, really am
Please forgive me.
Here, is this how?
NOOOO!!!!
Iβm not screaming, see Iβm smiling.
Iβm not crying, no I promise Iβll never tell mommy and daddy.
Nonononononononononononononononono.
Yes, yes it’s over.
Thank God, thank god, thank you god.
Iβm a sinner for being glad it is over when its all for my own good.
Itβs a punishment for my sins and I should be glad for it.
Thank you sir, yes Iβll practise this song for next time. Goodbye.
Yes, Iβll wear dresses like this more often.
I hate you, you bastard.
Shutup shutup, a good girl does not use words like this.

If no means no.
And yes means no.
Then maybe maybe means yes?
But does that mean no?
fugg, that almost made me scream in horror! so well written ….. dunno what else to say …
roops last idea: It feels great β¦
oh that so painfully reminds me of similar things!
RukmaniRams last blog post..I have some trouble shooting
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