A Music Lesson With Lolita

Good evening sir. Isn’t aunty home? Oh, I see.
Thank you, I’m going to a birthday party, that’s why.
Yes, I chose the dress. Thank you, sir.
Please don’t.
I’m not sure if you should.
I’m not sure what is right.

Yes, I practiced last time’s lesson.
Well, 3 times this week.
You are older than I, and an adult.
And hence you must be right, and I wrong.
But some voice inside me is screaming.

I had to do homework. Really, I practiced thrice.
No…I wasn’t meeting any boys. I don’t have a boyfriend.
I must be really bad for resisting what you tell me.
You can only be doing this for my own good.
Tell the voice to stop.

Shut up shut up shut up why the hell did I wear this dress?
Those are words I’m not supposed to say.
A well-brought up child does not say shut up.
A good girl takes what is given to her and says thank you.
A child should not be screaming when big people are saying something.

Please don’t…I beg you, don’t make me…
I know I’m very naughty, I promise I’m sorry.
Its my fault for wearing this dress.
I promise I’ll study hard and I’ll never lie.
I promise on God and mommy and daddy, I’ll never be bad again.
Please make this screaming go away.

Okay, I will..
But why do I feel wrong?
Mommy will get angry and daddy will too.
I don’t want to displease them.
No, please don’t be angry.
I’ll be good, I promise.
Yes, I know I promised last time..I’m sorry, really am.
Please forgive me.
Here, is this how?
I’m not screaming, see I’m smiling.
I’m not crying, no I promise I’ll never tell mommy and daddy.
Yes, yes its over.

Thank God, thank god, thank you god.
I’m a sinner for being glad it is over when its all for my own good.
It’s a punishment for my sins and I should be glad for it.

Thank you sir, yes I’ll practise this song for next time. Goodbye.
Yes, I’ll wear dresses like this more often.
I hate you, you bastard.
Shutup shutup, a good girl does not use words like this

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