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  1. i just want you to know that you are not alone in this world. i draw solace from the fact that I will not be as conservative as my mom was when i bear a child. and if it is a girl child, the least i will do is to ensure that she knows how to differentiate a wrong touch from the right and speak up irrespective of the consequences.

    Growing up in the NCR region, I have lived these horrors every day of my life.

  2. very rarely have blog posts moved me emotionally.And this one just did.I appricate your honesty.Respect.
    I don’t want to say more,than that it was beautifully written.

  3. Balls on Honesty. Enough said. You faced what you faced and lived to tell the tale. That’s a bigger deal than most know. Much love and respect.

  4. When a string is broken,if you try to tie it back,the knot still remains..till you realize at least it held your packet together till you reached home… .similarly in life when you experience a difficult situation,those memories never go away, you just choose to look at it differently ..and it shapes your persona,gives it a new meaning..a new voice…

  5. Wow!!! I have no words for your courage. To deal with the demons of the past and to come out of it takes a lot. I’m glad I read your post. You are an inspiration to many people out there. Kudos!!!

    1. @Milana: Thank you very much. I was very lucky and I had a lot of support from my family and friends. I’m sorry I have nothing more to say than that but it’s the truth.

  6. I couldn’t hold back the tears while reading this. I may be a man, but one would have to be a corpse to not empathize with your experience. For every woman who speaks out, many remain silent, and many more are silenced. It especially bad in the more conservative patriarchal cultures, where people are more concerned about reputation than justice. Thanks to this veil of silence, we never know how much our own mothers, sisters, wives and daughters are suffering, having been culturally brainwashed or “counseled” to hold their tongues and preserve the “peace” of the family and “honor” of the men. May you find *personal* peace and thereby once again honor *yourself* … and your vagina.

  7. Dear Ms Taggarts,

    Linking both the images of the pedophiles and the other sex perverts it seems certain that they are unfit for marriage and raising their own kids. How can they hold them and love them with dirt in their minds? Behind the skirt or a simple hole in the wall, these men will never outgrow their feelings once they develop them. TC

    Biju Mathewss last idea: The "Traditional" Shiv Ram Sena Theory

  8. I am deeply touched by the honesty and courageousness of this incredible post. I am so sorry for what you endured and I sincerely moved by your path to healing. Your post is a testament to the power of literature and theater and how the arts can indeed be transformative.

    Congratulations on receiving the Avant Garde Blogger Award, you absolutely deserve this award. I so hope that the winning of this award brings more people to this post who might find healing and understanding through your beautiful piece. You are a strong woman and an inspiration.

  9. Amazing post. It may be looked upon as a courageous post w.r.t the prevalent social conditions. but it is a courageous attempt more so because, i see what i read as the outcome of a war between ur outer self which reminds you of The Bad Thing every time and ur inner self which wants to rediscover life.

    Sus last blog post..(Let) Live Happily

  10. Mahabanoo mentioned your blog post and poem when I was doing a magazine interview with her on the play. she LOVES ur poem, and i liked it too…

    bravo to u for such an honest post about the childhood incident. i experienced something similar as a naive 10-year-old and had a reaction not very different from yours….

    kass last blog post..’This is what Simon Cowell would dismiss as karaoke’

  11. Hi….I held my breath until the very end and I didn’t know what to feel. As many others it touched me deeply and I am so amazed that you were able to put that up there.

    There’s a quote I saw on a friend’s blog which I have always found to ring true…

    The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, “Its a girl.” – Shirly Chisholm

    You’re very brave 🙂

  12. That was haunting… I’ve written a similar one.. long ago, buried somewhere in my archives… now i want to see the play too, after hearing so much about it.

  13. I was checking out Indian blogs as part of my work when I stumbled upon your post. As I read it, it’s like time stood still and none of the daily office grind mattered anymore. Thanks for sharing such compelling thoughts and reminding of the things in life I take for granted!

  14. When I read or come to know about these, my respect for girls and women goes up a notch higher. I am not sure if it is true if I say “I understand”, but yes I get it.
    Cheers for the ladies’ courage to trust again, to love again, to smile through the memories of haunted past.

    Cheers, and more strength to you.

  15. I just want to say thank you, every one of you for reading my post and commenting. Some of you have shared your own experiences, some of you have offered comfort. I’m so touched, so very touched. I wrote this post as a rant – to throw something off my mind. I never expected to get something back. I’ve been moved by everything that all of you have said. It seems just too superficial to say you’ve changed my life by speaking up. All I will say and hope that you understand is – Thank you. Deeply.

  16. just landed up on ur blog a few minutes back….love ur posts and ur articulation / expression of feelings… as for this post… i hv no words.. it was very moving…

  17. Your writing makes me feel like I know you — You are an amazing person. By far the dominating emotion evoked in me as I realized what your post was about was anger — I can’t see how such acts can be forgotten and forgiven. I have lived a life very shielded from such harsh realities of life until very recently — Is is my naivete, that I badly want to see that guy (and others like him) punished?

  18. You know my thoughts on this…all I can say is…Happy Birthday and enjoy the feeling!

    The university here celebrates Women’s Day every year with a performance of the Vagina Monologues. Each year they have a different cast – women students, faculty and staff. As part of the selection process you have to fill out a form – and you may choose to share an experience/thought which has motivated you to sign up for the play.

    Once you are selected, everyone gets to read out loud different excerpts and then choose which one you want to be. Before the rehearsals begin, there is a bonding exercise – and women are encouraged to share what they feel on reading it. And NOT surprisingly, there is an outpouring of emotions, experiences, stories – some sad, some brave, some ugly, some hopeful. Each of which would have created a new revised edition of Vagina Monologue. The beauty is- it is now a DIALOGUE, instead of a monologue, getting past the trauma and the shame and having a conversation that frees you up immensely from the burdens you have been carrying for so long.

    I had signed up for it in 2005. I had shared with women of all colors, shapes , sizes, occupations, ages MY STORY. My fiance expressed his DISGUST and DISPLEASURE. I didnt make it to the play. He is no longer my fiance (for many reasons along with this one). And I think it is time to audition for it once more. Something tells me he was SCARED. And I would like to find out exactly why. 🙂

  19. No words…you’re very strong…I feel like I know you infintely more now after reading this post than I did in all the years I’ve known you…hugs

  20. Thank you for that. Have read the book, and watched it performed as well. Been abused too, though I don’t think it was as traumatic for me as it seems to have been in your case. Maybe boys get over it better since the shame and guilt aren’t piled on quite as much.
    I hope writing about it helped.


  21. Hi! I was in your site for the first time. I started skimming through this post…then stopped…then started reading it in detail…I could sense the pain you must felt. It must have taken great guts to overcome it and write about it. I wish such things didn’t happen…but then that’s such a long list of things. Take care

    Kalyans last blog post..Mr Chow’s – Chinese food delivered home

  22. I’ve been wondering what to comment on something so intense. Its not possible for anyone except the one suffering to really fathom what the pain, the anguish can be like. Its been said many times already, but you deserve to hear it more… you have been amazingly brave.
    Letting your demons out is like completing a circle… it will always be there, but there wont be sharp edges constantly hurting you anymore….
    Regards to your courage and best wishes.

    ‘nonnymouss last blog post..This Shitty City

  23. I can understand the seething pain and havocking emotions you must have gone through. All, I can say is that I too faced something like this at an early age and sadly the wrong doer was someone who was a close family member.

    He is no more now. Died at an early age of say 20 or so. I don’t know if I should be glad that he’s dead or not…but I am. Realizing that I never have to face him again.
    Whatever happened has been locked inside me for years. For the first time in my life I have shared this and it has to be through this platform.

    But, I have moved on…burying everything as deep and as far as possible. And I am proud of myself.

    Withering Willows last blog post..Funny Toilet Signs

  24. Ronak I do know about the people..and may be none of us would have come hear searching for that word..but I was just talking about the anonymous visitors who find a way to your blog by searching for some really disturbing things.

    ramblers last blog post..blink

  25. Your experience reminds me of a girl in my school, whom we envied then for getting too much attention from our school’s music teacher. The music teacher with a beautiful wife and a daughter 2 years younger than us and I remember all their names. The student, a pretty South Indian girl, who wore a red bindi and flowers in her hair. She was not a good singer but a quiet girl. She was also an average student so she was not very confident. She was a bit more physically developed than we all were, a fact that I only understood later, in context.

    Years later, I realised it was no blessing for her to be a favoured student; it was something that may have blighted her sense of confidence for years later. Who knows?

    Now reading your post, I wonder how she felt then. I still remember her face, the place where she boarded the school vehicle, the music teacher coming to school on his bicycle with his daughter on the front bar and a lunch box packed by his wife in the basket in front, the red eyes the girl had sometimes in the school vehicle back.

    I wish more women would speak for others and for themselves. I wish more men were truly as concerned as some of the men who have commented here.

    Good on you for having courage, Ideasmithy.

    Shefalys last blog post..More random thoughts

  26. I know of a person (very very dear to me) who had a similar experience. And somehow I was more unforgiving and hurt about it than the person who had the disgusting experience. It took me ten years to come to terms with it. I’m truly sorry about what you’ve been through and proud of the strength you’ve demonstrated.

  27. I had always wondered what a woman’s reaction to the play/book would be… Liberation? Trust? Frustration that comes with realization?… Being a male, I went through a lot of emotions as I watched the play..

    and you are right.. it takes a lot of courage to come out in the open and share your deepest darkest and often the most hurting thoughts.. but then, as long as it makes you feel free, I think its worth it! Great post.. and cheers!! to a new life!!

    Amits last blog post..The Power of (Right) Training

  28. Dear Ideasmithy…

    I thought A Thousand Splendid Suns taught me a lot about what being a woman was all about… before I read your post…

    And to have met that man and to have felt nothing at all.. is courageous of you.. but to imagine how many lives he would have ruined anyway… it becomes really hard not to feel anything about him.. he is far from forgiven..

    Here’s wishing that nobody else goes through similar pain.. and those who have gone through this, discover courage and a chance to spit out the pain, like you did…


  29. hats of to u dear Ideasmithy!
    Kudos to your daring bare it all post…It takes courage for a femme in our country to cum out so boldly against d orthodox mindset n crappy individuals of my gender.
    Here’s wishing that the Braveness reaches still unfathomable highs…Keep up d good work,lady!

  30. Hi …

    Ur post does evoke more respect for women and does make me proud to be born with the essence of a woman . Ur thoughts and experience have been penned very sensitvely . I saw the play too this time at Prithvi and I was very touched , I m glad u were inspired, and released urself to write about it . U certainly did justice to all the Vaginas:) All the best !

  31. girl! i was really moved reading what u have gone through. i am assuming it must have been a real pain, an even bigger pain must have been seeing ur old Guitar Teacher! the frail and old person that he had aged into.
    i am sure u must be a relieved and a new person after watching the play! Dolly Thakore is a wonderful actress! she has been around for ages now! 🙂 i hope that this new you would continue to live always now, i am sure the old you is dead for good. 🙂
    Ciao and take care! 🙂

    Niravs last blog post..Early Morning Chores!!!