So we are a city of metrosexual men? Hmm. I guess I should revise my preferences. Let it never be said that I’m not fair. So welcome, men, to the joys of beautification! That said, let me extend the olive branch to my insofar suffering male counterparts and attempt to smoothen the process for you. After all, I have been a woman all my life, tomboyishness and gender stereotype dilemmas notwithstanding…I still do have a leeetle more experience than you in this department.
As a gesture of welcome, I present a handy manual on all things that you’ll have a chance to learn now that you’re on beauty-territory:
Tired of being Beauty’s Beast?
Do you wish women would swoon over your smooth, shaven cheeks? Your dapper dressing? Your smart shoes? Your head-spinning cologne?
DO YOU WANT TO BE A METROSEXUAL MAN???!
Congratulations! Now that you’ve made up your mind, whipped out your wallet for the potions and creams, what’s next? The clothes don’t make a man…alone. We are here to help you be the complete Metrosexual Man!
Presenting a path-breaking programme that ensures that you are truly beautiful in every way….
1. Accounting – Time and for money: How to fit a before-date makeover into one free hour and a limited budget. Extras include time-stretching ploys, excuses, haggling and screaming over the din.
2. Survival kitting – How to assemble your own personal tool-kit for makeovers, quick-fixes, first-aids, touch-ups.
3. Discomfort management – A guide to living and loving starch, pins, elastic and pretty but comfort-challenged fabrics. A special booklet on Spandex for aspiring superheroes!
4. Dealing with support staff: Essential beginner’s guide to bargaining, quality assessment, communicating body fit requirements to tailors and the value of an amicable relationship with your hairdresser.
5. Body language modification: A practical course on how to walk, stand, talk and perform all other basic human movements with maximum grace and minimum discomfort.
Say bye-bye to the Beast! Hello, Mr.Beautiful!
Interested applicants may leave a message here and we’ll get back to you.
Note to women friends: Any volunteers wanting to help me get this in order? No laughing allowed….till after we collect the fees!