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    1. The post is actually nearly a decade old. I have a lot of additional thoughts on this since then. Think I should rewrite? I put a lot of these into performance as @SXonomics by the way (see us on Youtube, Twitter, Instgram and Facebook by the same name).

  1. Thr used 2 b a time, a long time back, whn I saw othr men walk up to the women I wanted to talk to, n they confidently hit it off….

    Thr used 2 b a time, a long time back, whn I used to shyly look the other way whn a lady was givin me all the right signs…

    Thr used 2 b a time, a long time back, whn I used to miss all the opportunities tht lay rite in front of me…

    damn! things still haven’t changed……


    1. @R-A-J: They have, I think. I’ve asked men out more than once. Last year I met someone who captivated my interest. He was intelligent, warm and friendly but he seemed shy. So I asked him out. And again. A few weeks later we were in a relationship. He’s my wonderful Mr.Everyday and neither of us regrets how we began! 🙂

  2. I would like to appreciate for coming up with this idea (perhaps that y, IdeaSmith). I really appreciate if a girl could come over ask me. I am actually introvert kind of guy. Even though My command center forces me “Go, talk to the girl”, I’ve never done that. @turisuna correctly pointed out that “Its not about gender, its about feeling”. To be true, what @turisuna said is what happened and might happen afterwards. I would take it as a positive transition of approach from girls really.

  3. I think the need for the transition is what we are dealing with, perhaps. I like to see the social transition. I am an introvert guy, sometimes I feel that I should approach the girl. But I don’t know much about the ‘signs’, makes me get rid of the place with hectic emotion. If the change that we are talking about should be welcomed.

    1. @Venkat: It’s encouraging to hear a guy say that, especially after some of the responses this post received (in other places). A number of men still think it’s not a woman’s place to initiate the relationship so I’m very happy to see there are more progressive thinking men like you. On another note, I guess this is your first comment on XX Factor. So welcome in and I hope you’ll comment again!

  4. Great post! I’ll add myself to the men who would love to see more of this. In fact, I can’t believe we’re still hung up on this as a society. I generally don’t ask women out unless I’m sure they’re interested, by which point they’re usually really flustered that I haven’t asked them out yet, given that they’ve “given me all the signs.” Signs. Really. I have a piece of advice for women reading this: the clearest sign is to just ask yourself. It takes some courage, and sometimes you have to swallow your pride, but we love it when you do.

    Of course, sometimes I’ve asked women out when I was less sure, and this is a mixed bag, sometimes leading to great reward, other times to rejection for myself, and mutual awkwardness. To avoid those things, and for other reasons, I tend to wait.

    1. @Daniel: You make my day with this comment! And about the ‘signs’…I realise now that’s a uniquely women-only language that many men just don’t get. What I thought were really obvious signals to Mr.Everyday went totally over his head. Luckily for us both, I got impatient and just asked him out and kept at it till he finally sat up and realised what I was all about. 🙂

      Welcome to XX Factor, by the way and I really hope I see more of you around here!

  5. It would be really nice for us shy guys for the girl to ask the guy out. But at the same time I don’t think it would be right. We are the ones with the testosterone, just need the balls to ask her out!!

    1. @Tom: That’s one point of view. I don’t really agree and I know a number of people (men and women) who wouldn’t too. I’m currently in a relationship with someone whom I asked out and it hasn’t made any difference to either of us.

  6. Good line for woman to guy she likes, “I’ll let you ask me out if you like.” Then casually walk away. Let time and curiosity do the rest.

  7. For me it’s okay if the girl asks a guy out. It’s not about gender, but about feeling. Sometimes man could be shy too, so secretly he wishes that the woman wants to ask him first. Btw in my experience, it’s easier for woman to ask first, because man rarely refuses the request.

    1. @turisuna: That’s valid but it brings us to the next question. How can a woman tell whether the guy is genuinely interested in her or just getting an ego-boost out of the fact that he got asked out? In the case I mentioned, that is exactly what happened and the guy didn’t even bother mentioning that he was already committed (in which case I obviously wouldn’t have asked him out). If he’d been honest upfront, it would have been a lot easier to deal with than it was, two months down the line.

  8. to me girl asking out, reflects positively about her and her confidence..

    and its also important for women to understand men feeling/tension/pressure about making-first-move and natural confusion about rejection..which is one of the most important reason guys walk close but yet fell short of asking.
    .-= Yuva´s last blog ..while I was away =-.