It felt good to say “To hell with you”.

It felt even better to know that the people who I don’t normally think understand, would come back to ask me “What’s wrong?” when I said that.

It felt good to be acquainted with love. Terrible to be tainted by it. Love, ah, you make a pauper of me! But you’re a worthy opponent, nothing else ever defeated me. So we’ll become friends, I always do eventually with worthy opponents. After all true friendship can only be between equals.

Friendship, my raison d’etre, the jewel of my relationships….those who are a part of my life because they have a place in it, not because I need them or they need me or that we share DNA. My best friend, so far away in another world practically, hasn’t moved an inch essentially. P, I don’t miss you because it doesn’t feel like you’re gone. You’ve made 12 (actually 13 this year!) years happen with me. Studded with events and emotions and conversations that just happened naturally then but transformed the minute they passed into those diamond moments that get preserved in memories and warm people’s hearts for the rest of life.

Sometimes you need to push away what you want so desperately, just to know that it’ll be a part of your life even when you don’t cling to it anymore.

Life is fluid and I, elementally water can’t stay a minute longer than I should.

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