Never Ever, Have I Ever…

Yesterday I went out for a drink with some colleagues. The talk turned to drinking games and we started on one called ‘Never ever, have I ever’. Here’s how it is played. One person raises his/her glass and proclaims “Never ever, have I ever….” and ends it with a statement. Everyone in the group who has done that particular thing must take a swig from their glasses.

It seemed harmless enough as it began but as the drink went down, the declarations got more and more daring (daringer and daringer..?) The two foreigners in the group thought that Indians were an extremely conservative bunch. And it would seem that way, considering all the things they came up with! I guess we are doers too, just not talkers.

The drink really loosens up tongues I bet…or perhaps that’s just the effect of adrenalin overdose and the group mentality, where everyone is egging each other on. I woke up this morning horrified at all the things I’d admitted to. Of course there were other women in the group, but one is married (and hence all is forgiven….hell, I didn’t make those ideas!), one is soon to be hitched and the last one was Little Miss Muffet. The married one remarked as we went home that everyone was more interested in her sex life before marriage than after…..yeah, where’s the excitement in the safety net of marriage? The guys had a blast of course, with each one trying to outdo the other with gory, sordid stories of college capers and adolescent adventures.

It made me wonder why really we are so uptight about things. We cringe at the idea of the most popular human activity. Some of us like to pretend we know nothing about such things (apparently this section was a special Stork Express Delivery). I shoot my mouth off about the modern women and boldness, but I was hesitant to talk about my ‘dirty secrets’ too. People are even reluctant to talk about the universal emotion of love (yes, yes it is still a four-letter word in my diary but what’s this about not even talking about it?)

There were some revelations. At “I’ve been in love with a teacher”, all of us raised a toast. Of course I know that at an intellectual level. Still, to actually see proof of it…is a realization. Followed by a session of ‘Truth or Dare’ the wildness quotient went up by the minute. Every nasty thing admitted to, was dragged out and examined in leering light. Yeaaarrrrgggghhhhh…..

This sort of a thing with colleagues brings about its own pitfalls. ‘The people I work with’ * in hushed tones*. Yes, I was jittery this morning, wondering whether any of these people would behave a little differently. Actually they didn’t. Of course I wonder if they’re judging me, but what the hell….at least I know how they’ll judge me if they do. Maybe we are all slightly voyeuristic. We enjoy listening to shocking things people have done. Maybe it makes us feel not so alone, not so weird, not so wrong.

I don’t know if I’ll live to regret this party. Maybe I shouldn’t have been quite so honest. Then again, we all need some moments that make us cringe with shame, when we look back. Its good for the soul. You can’t know purity until you’ve been dirty.

27 thoughts on “Never Ever, Have I Ever…

  1. Party… mirror… Tamilian roots… Triangulation is a very good technique to try to get a grasp on something. Do these three articles somehow triangulate the essential you? Of course, I immensely enjoyed reading them. Would never read them otherwise :). Btw, got a new post, care to drop in? 🙂

  2. Hey IdeaS…
    Do any of your colleagues read your posts, knowing they’re yours ??!!

    I am of the notion that they reveal a lot more about you than ANYTHING you’d say when you were drunk an’ playin a truth-or-dare kinda game !!


  3. I have no idea if my collegues read my posts (with or without the knowledge that they are mine). But you’re right…my blogs say a lot more about me than any drunken revelations have!

  4. Blogging, in a sense, is truth or dare extended over a longer time-frame.

    Hope your darkest secrets live happily within you; the sum of your secrets is the extent to which you’ve lived life. 🙂

  5. Never played the game! I wouldn’t dare 😉 too many secrets u see! LOLOL
    but..i often wonder why we are brought up to think that the most pleasurable of emotions (actions ??)are considered dirty! Oh i know i know..i consider them that!
    Its just too overrated..guess i am getting ollllld!

  6. There is no need to cringe with shame coz’ you were honest. You were just playing the game by the rules, and you played it right!

    But if it came to revealing a ‘really’ dark secret, would you take the swig?

  7. I’m glad to ‘read’ you back Smithy… you’re always so right…
    This party sounds like a blast, I agree, we all need a shameful moment or two once in a while to look back to, being perfect is not human, and admitting to it in public takes a lot of guts.

  8. yup yup IdeaS.. I’m always right.. now BLOG already..

    Sheesh.. how many times am I gonna REFRESH this damn page !!



  9. All the way down at number 22, so dunno if you’ll notice this 🙂 But I’ll post anyway.

    I find confession sessions like these very liberating (of course provided it is with the right company and all that good stuff) Having revealed all, one can move past them and proceed to work on a new list of shady secrets 😉

    You have an awesome space here! And it is good to see you come by and comment on my blog. I keep stopping here to read (via your comments on Sagnik’s) but never actually commented. The deed is done today 🙂

  10. … and we have Iyer’s famous dance steps during our sessions …

    having said that .. we once tried something similar over Vegan Shake … (yea, cafe!!)

    ended up transforming our buddy into a gladrags model and soon to be actor now …( …

    but, to be fair to him … he made himself … kudos farro .. u rock

    And yes, we’ll try this “Never ever, have I ever…” thingy once I’m sure

  11. Voyeuristic? Guilty! While reading through, I was actually waiting for you to spill the beans on some of the revelations. No names, of course!

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