Architect

This is one of my few classic poetry pieces that I wrote for stage. A little before this, I had facilitated a walking tour with my architect friend as a guide, to talk to Alphabet Sambar about the stories behind the architecture. And I had also attended a workshop by a different architect friend on writing about spaces. The performance is at the erstwhile Tuning Fork, now known as The Habitat.

We are shaping the span between us
Paving roads to each other with ideas
Extending word ladders and conversation bridges
We are co-creators,
Selecting the best parts from I, me, you, yours to design a new US
We pick lines from stories as diverse as Interstellar and Gravity
Sculpting reason and attraction into pillars of truth
We embellish with fragments of our broken past dreams
Hoping the other will see art in our pain the way we do

I bring in my best tools
My smile wiped clean of the dregs of my past
And dipped into a fresh coat of all these new emotions that you inspire in me
So here I go setting out to be the architect for our future
Building us into castles & cathedrals
Space stations and satellite towers
When you turn around and say
You just want some SPACE

You slide into an alleyway of guilt
that I didn’t even know existed in this world of ours
God knows I didn’t put it there
I follow you and I find walls
Where I expected a skylight or a ventilation shaft
I realise there’s a door only when I hear it slam
SLAM. SLAM. SLAM.
As you close off,
compartmentalise,
seal away,
cordon off parts of your life
where I’m not allowed
SLAM.

Because that’s what doors sound like to you
To me, a door exists to let us walk through walls
But these walls are wet with your tears
And they crumble at my touch

I look for a conversation thread to help us out of this abyss
I find myself trapped inside a dead-end with no sign of you
Imprisoned inside the crushing echoes of your accusations
And cut on ropes called promises that we made to each other

I make it back to the threshold where we first waved hi
And there you are smiling hello at me
Like we did not just create something together
That choked and died

I can’t build what you keep destroying, I say
You tell me it’s not supposed to take so much work
Honey, even a sandcastle takes getting your hands dirty
I saw us as a city of the future
Full of colour and bustle and culture
But you, my friend,
you think of love as Stonehenge
Smiling at these unfinished stones
So we’re left walking around in our ruins
Turning our architecture into history.

*Read my other Love Poetry. Or listen to it.