I met the love that healed me this week. Ours was a relationship that was never defined and yet had oh, so much more depth and emotion than all those by-the-book love/friendship/boyfriend-girlfriend things did. And yet, we’d come close, so close it was like being in love. And then abruptly part, though never with any animosity. And funnily enough, never miss the other. Once in a way, one of us would (and still does) feel the urge to see the other. And that person would make the call “I was thinking of you. Will you meet me?” to the always response of “Absolutely, I’ve been missing you too. “
If I ever wondered why, this conversation may have had some answers. Some snippets…
“Your dad is amazing. I can really see him the role of my father-in-law. Though, I can’t see you in the role of my wife quite as easily.”
“You know, I can look at some women and say wow, what a fantastic butt! What great tits! I can’t look at you and think that way. Not that I’m saying you don’t have a fantastic butt and great tits”
But it appeases my vanity rather than injures it because it’s just minutes after…..
“You’re looking good, da. Its so good to see you again.”
Oh, and I have to add, amongst various things we discussed the current state of our love lives. He tells me he’s been dating the ex-wife of one of his good friends and it’s kind of awkward but not too bad. I hmm-ed at that and told him that I’ve been seeing a lot of someone recently too. And he has gone out with his ex- and her boyfriend (who was at one point of time, her ex- while he was her boyfriend). That should have made us both laugh, but instead, it makes us both smile reflectively.
I tell him about all the writing I’ve been doing…. the office newsletter, the shift to WordPress and also about a post when I mentioned him recently. He just pats my head and says, “You’re welcome”.
Then I talk to him about people at work and tell I’ve been trying to set up one of my colleagues with him. He laughs and said, “Oh yeah? I hope you didn’t make her expect Adonis.” I poke him in the ribs and say, “No, I told her you were this good-looking, really nice guy, with a good job and several hobbies. To which she wanted to know why I wasn’t dating you instead” He snorts at that and says, “What rubbish. I have a nice face, I know but I am too flabby.” And then he orders another beer.
Of course, he doesn’t ask what I replied to her question. But we have an argument over what women find really attractive in a man. As always, he puts forth his theories in concise, structured statements like “No matter what you look like, when you’re in bed, you want someone who is as perfect as you can get.” I run amok over all such things, throwing out random statistics like “That’s because men are visual and women are more verbal. It’s not so much what a man’s body is like, as what he does with it.”
He never believes me of course. And I won’t back down my point either. Oh well, whatever…just so long as I can hug him when I feel like it. In a lifetime of relationships that range from bitter chocolate to arsenic, he is like a glass of clear, cool water. Cleansing, clarifying and healing.