There’s a name for my generation. The children of Baby Boomers who arrived a few calendar pages too early to be Millenial. We’re Generation X. Or perhaps Xennial. X marks the spot of cluelessness in the Information Age. 

Apparently I’m attractive now. After years of Gori&Chitti, this skin colour & attitude are desirable. I’m a modern day Sleeping Beauty waking up in a world she doesn’t recognise. Err, without the non-consensual kiss & 100 year sleep. I’m not THAT old. But I am 41. And wow, has the world changed. X is for extra powered RedBull to get out of the bullshit. 

Dating, is a thing now. Bravo, India. Human relationships have gone digital. Matrimonial sites are mainstream. After all, our mothers are today’s biggest users of Whatsapp. So we can find Attractive, Family loving, Sapiosexual, Horoscope-matched, Pedigreed Pluviophile matches at the tap of a button. X is for family approved sex appeal.

And on the same screen there’s also Swipe Left for No, Up for Hells No, Down for In Your Dreams and Right for Alright Your Place or Mine? It is pretty confusing. No? That’s just me? Us X-Gen olds? X for caught in the crossfire. 

Where do I fall on this? One broken engagement & several shamefully hidden breakups later, I can tell you 36 ways marriage is Indian torture. Also 72 reasons your mother-in-law cannot be your frenemy. So no thank you ShubhShaadi, TurrantVivah, JeevanSaathiya. It’ll take more than a matched horoscope, a word-processed bio and three templatised messages to find my Happily Ever After. X is for my confidence made of exes tears. 

But hookups are so much effort. I’d rather spend Saturday nights with a book, drink tea instead of wine and keep my body clean of all the nasty things that you get when you do the nasty with a stranger. Nasty things?HIV, hepatitis B, eroded cervixes, unrequited love. X is for a Windows 95 generation begging shut that window or I’ll have to call IT.

No apps to satisfy the cravings of a slightly pre-millenial X Gen’er. All I can say is Relationship Status: Between Swipe Right & Made In Heaven. X marks that spot.

🎶: DEEWANE TO DEEWANE HAIN-Shweta Shetty #TheMateHunt #IWear #IndianMatchmaking


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