What About Regret?

@agentsofishq’s ‘An Evening of No Regrets’ gave me pause. Do I truly have no regrets?For most of my teen years & adult life, I’ve tried to live a life free of regret. Early on, this meant being cautious about navigating gender pressures & unrealistic expectations. The thing about growing up a girl & experiencing abuse ... Read More

Talking About Love With You

You tell me this is what it means to loveYou say that is love, this is lovingYou point me to poetryas a dictionary for the love languageAnd therapy terminologyto dissect this feeling These my friend,are conversations about love,Not love itself(And note, that I call you ‘friend’,not ‘my love’)Because I’ve read the dictionaries wellAnd I follow ... Read More

π•„π•Œπ•‹π•Œπ”Έπ•ƒ π•„π•€π•Šπ”Ήπ”Όβ„π”Έπ•π•€π•†π•Œβ„

Do we know how to relate to other people without fear & hurt driving us?What we call relationships seem to be people taking turns to misbehave.When small children behave badly, it’s called tantrum throwing. They’re parented with punishments to instill fear & distress – adult version of the same. Women throw tantrums, men withold affection. ...

π•Ώπ–π–Š π•Ώπ–œπ–” π•½π–Šπ–†π–‰π–Šπ–—π–˜

Remember the collectors’set I received in π•Ώπ–π–Š π•±π–Šπ–‘π–‘π–”π–œπ–˜π–π–Žπ–• 𝕺𝖋 π•Ώπ–π–Š π•½π–Šπ–†π–‰π–Šπ–—π–˜? I got to 19 without completing it. Final year, I was regretfully back in a course I’d tried to escape, squirming in a world that never stopped feeling foreign. Old associations die harder than habits so I didn’t have friends. I returned to the ...

The Public Personal

I lost a friendship sometime ago because the person took something I said on one of my Instagram Lives, personally. I don’t know what was said or which Live it was but I know I didn’t say anything aimed at them or about them. I know this because I’ve been doing this for 16 years. ... Read More

β–‘β–’β–“β–ˆ π•₯ꫝꫀ ΰͺ‘β…ˆα§κͺ€ΰͺ‘ κͺ–ΰͺ‘ α »κ«€κͺ‘β…ˆκͺ€β…ˆΰͺ‘π•₯ΰͺ‘ β–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘

This week I’ve been indulging my hobby of classifying human behaviour & personalities into types with the original system – zodiac signs! It’s also the theme of my Instagram Live at 10PM IST tonight which will be saved as a video to my IGTV later. Imagine each zodiac sign as a feminist. ARIES: MARD TEREKO ...

Bleeding Colour

When it hurts, and you aren’t even allowed to bleed, turn it into art. When they have encoded hatred into every thing that touches you, every gaze, every fabric, every brushstroke, every word, let the burn power you. If you are a child of pain or even a vehicle for others’ sorrow, let it course ... Read More

Rebirth

I’ve been taking tentative steps towards normal life (or whatever that looks like) in 2021. I went to Bandra to meet a friend for a meal & a walk. Two days later, I went out to lunch with my family. It feels like therapy after a surgery, using muscles, thoughts, feelings that used to be ... Read More

Checklist For Letting Go

At some point, you have to let go of the people who you think healed you because they’re no more than crutches. Maybe you needed them once but letting them go is part of growth. There is no glory in suffering, no love in neediness. Shared pain is an opportunity, not a bond. The only ... Read More