IWear

What About Regret?
|

What About Regret?

@agentsofishq’s ‘An Evening of No Regrets’ gave me pause. Do I truly have no regrets?For most of my teen years & adult life, I’ve tried to live a life free of regret. Early on, this meant being cautious about navigating gender pressures & unrealistic expectations. The thing about growing up…

Talking About Love With You
| | |

Talking About Love With You

You tell me this is what it means to loveYou say that is love, this is lovingYou point me to poetryas a dictionary for the love languageAnd therapy terminologyto dissect this feeling These my friend,are conversations about love,Not love itself(And note, that I call you ‘friend’,not ‘my love’)Because I’ve read…

๐—Ÿ๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ฆ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ฆ ๐—ข๐—™ ๐—Ÿ๐—˜๐—ข ๐Ÿ‘‘
| | | | |

๐—Ÿ๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ฆ๐—ข๐—ก๐—ฆ ๐—ข๐—™ ๐—Ÿ๐—˜๐—ข ๐Ÿ‘‘

The month was full of learning. 2020 was hard, getting hit by a pandemic no one had seen the likes of. But 2021 was the slow, grueling grind back into a world that will never be the same. The soul-crushing realisation that all things break – stability, connections & worst…

Mutual Misbehaviour
|

Mutual Misbehaviour

Do we know how to relate to other people without fear & hurt driving us?What we call relationships seem to be people taking turns to misbehave.When small children behave badly, itโ€™s called tantrum throwing. They’re parented with punishments to instill fear & distress – adult version of the same. Women…

The Two Readers

The Two Readers

Remember the collectors’set I received in ๐•ฟ๐–๐–Š ๐•ฑ๐–Š๐–‘๐–‘๐–”๐–œ๐–˜๐–๐–Ž๐–• ๐•บ๐–‹ ๐•ฟ๐–๐–Š ๐•ฝ๐–Š๐–†๐–‰๐–Š๐–—๐–˜? I got to 19 without completing it. Final year, I was regretfully back in a course I’d tried to escape, squirming in a world that never stopped feeling foreign. Old associations die harder than habits so I didn’t have…

The Public Personal
| | | |

The Public Personal

I lost a friendship sometime ago because the person took something I said on one of my Instagram Lives, personally. I don’t know what was said or which Live it was but I know I didn’t say anything aimed at them or about them. I know this because I’ve been…

The Signs As Feminists

The Signs As Feminists

This week I’ve been indulging my hobby of classifying human behaviour & personalities into types with the original system – zodiac signs! It’s also the theme of my Instagram Live at 10PM IST tonight which will be saved as a video to my IGTV later. Imagine each zodiac sign as…

Bleeding Colour
| | |

Bleeding Colour

When it hurts, and you aren’t even allowed to bleed, turn it into art. When they have encoded hatred into every thing that touches you, every gaze, every fabric, every brushstroke, every word, let the burn power you. If you are a child of pain or even a vehicle for…

Rebirth
| |

Rebirth

I’ve been taking tentative steps towards normal life (or whatever that looks like) in 2021. I went to Bandra to meet a friend for a meal & a walk. Two days later, I went out to lunch with my family. It feels like therapy after a surgery, using muscles, thoughts,…

Checklist For Letting Go
| |

Checklist For Letting Go

At some point, you have to let go of the people who you think healed you because they’re no more than crutches. Maybe you needed them once but letting them go is part of growth. There is no glory in suffering, no love in neediness. Shared pain is an opportunity,…

๐—ง๐—›๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ง๐—ข๐—ฅ๐—ฌ ๐—ฌ๐—ข๐—จ๐—ฅ ๐—•๐—ข๐——๐—ฌ ๐—ง๐—˜๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ๐—ฆ
|

๐—ง๐—›๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ง๐—ข๐—ฅ๐—ฌ ๐—ฌ๐—ข๐—จ๐—ฅ ๐—•๐—ข๐——๐—ฌ ๐—ง๐—˜๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ๐—ฆ

I wore this to an event on inclusivity. A stranger said they’d seen me at the event & thought, “She’s doing it for the attention.” That they’d later read my blog, learnt of abuse I’d survived & decided I deserved to dress as I liked. It angered me. Dressing as…

When Shame Defines You
| | |

When Shame Defines You

I’ve been thinking a lot about the different kinds of shaming (including the variations of body-shaming). Shame hides inside you, showing itself only in the ways you distance yourself from others. Condescension. Envy. Snark. Inconsideration. Exploitation. Bullying. Trolling. Shaming. Untended shame breeds more of itself. The ashamed becomes the shamer….

Blotting Paper Art
|

Blotting Paper Art

I love colour. Bright, vibrant hues lift my mood. What’s on the outside is connected to what’s on the inside and I like them in harmony. I’m a summer child. A Mumbaiker lives with a permanant layer of humidity on the skin. And that’s as good as my city hugging…

Statute Of Limitations
| | |

Statute Of Limitations

A book I’m reading features a couple. The man supports the woman’s independence, teaching her vital skills that help her break gender shackles. He also cheats, a trauma that dogs the woman for years even as she finds success. Much later, they work together in a war against a brutal…

Bad Advice
| |

Bad Advice

25 years ago Mary Schmidt wrote โ€˜Tips from a speech never givenโ€™. It was read by many people including a teen me. I thought some day I’d be able to tell people how to life right. I’m at mid-life crisis because how else to describe someone who refuses to act…

What’s Next?
| | |

What’s Next?

I was looking up sarees online. My mother thought my choices might not look that impressive on video calls. I told her, “The pandemic will not last forever.” Three-fourths of a year into a global shutdown, I can see how it can be difficult to remember this. In addition, the…

Keep Your Kudo
| |

Keep Your Kudo

People don’t like you because you’re superlative. More often than not, that causes the opposite reaction. Efficiency never won friends. It might cause you to be picked sometimes but it’s not liking that drives this choice; it’s need. I think we all like someone who makes us feel good. Maybe…

Poetrotica
|

Poetrotica

They says poets are just plain horny and boys with guitars are just trying to get laid. Well..I am a poet. And I can write in goosebumps scattered across your skin, like Braille for the words-impaired. My language could lie in words all over your body. And making love to…

X Generation
|

X Generation

Thereโ€™s a name for my generation. The children of Baby Boomers who arrived a few calendar pages too early to be Millenial. Weโ€™re Generation X. Or perhaps Xennial. X marks the spot of cluelessness in the Information Age.ย  Apparently Iโ€™m attractive now. After years of Gori&Chitti, this skin colour &…