The FOMO Life
We are a generation of people identifed by our tastes and experiences. Not our ethnicity, religion, education or even profession. So it becomes a matter of personal identity to have experienced certain things. To be the person that carries the entire bibliography of a particular genre. To use an artist’s song lyrics as our calling cards. To trade Easter eggs instead of actual conversations.
We build a collage of experiences instead of an identity. We think we are validating these artists, brands, organisations. But we’re holding them up as signboards of our own identity. It may feel like an attack to encounter someone who doesn’t value the experiences we do. And for safety in numbers, we go with the most popular experiences. We allow FOMO to be the prime dictator of our choices.
FOMO (or Fear of Missing Out) is not a good identifier of taste, let alone an actual description of personality. All FOMO does is aid marketers by making you believe that you are worthless, even non-existent unless you consume and espouse their brands. FOMO makes us buy overpriced tickets to shows we don’t enjoy, events we don’t understand and brag about trips we barely cared about. We fear so much being ridiculed for saying this doesn’t work for me. It’s a case of The Emperor’s New Clothes and no one wants to be the honest kid pointing out the emperor is naked.
Consider this. You are not the books you read, the movies you love, the songs you play, the restaurants you patronise. Your tribe is not people who huddle under the same brands, whose money funds the same causes. Your existence is not dependent on what brands show up on your credit card bills, what fandoms enjoy your membership.
You are a person that wants entertainment, learning, belonging, laughter, joy. Your tribe is people who give you that and who receive that from you without an element of transaction. What these mean is your life’s journey to discover and express.
Fear of missing out? There’s no room for fear when you know every moment is an experience.
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how many of your friends /childhood friends/acquaintances/blog readers are scared to honestly tell you what they think ?
like you have written ” It’s a case of The Emperor’s New Clothes and no one wants to be the honest kid pointing out the emperor is naked.”.
I don’t know many people who are willing to stick their neck out to give their honest ,frank opinion ,if they fear they will be shamed on the person’s twitter timeline and other social media streams .
And be labelled as “moral policing, bullying busybody ,unsolicited comments, bullied out guilted out ”
could labeling a person brand that person for life ?
could this be the reason why are there are hardly any replies to so many interesting threads and topics on your social media streams?
maybe?maybe no? maybe they don’t have the time to reply.
“Your tribe is people who give you that and who receive that from you without an element of transaction. ”
The real tribe has no giving or taking .giving and taking is a transaction and will not last . And it is really easy to cut off these pseudo tribe acquaintances as it was all about the pseudo transaction . Begin comfortable with a person who does not give or take is what i call the true friends. and i know you have some lovely childhood friends who just like you for being you.
Hi “Suresh” (which we both know is not your real name),
Your actions & words, including this comment, are poisonous and constitute harassment. You are no friend of mine and I do not permit you any kind of association with me. Do not contact me again here or anywhere else, even through fake ids like this one. If you do, I will report you to the authorities.
Ramya