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  1. Really, why not MOVE (to another country) and do your own thing? Not your fault but you can’t change them, They’re fucked in the head.

    You have to burn bridges sometimes, in order to become better. If that means bye bye to family and old friends, so be it. Consider it cost. You might feel bad for a bit but time heals everything. De-clutter. Why do you need a “maid”. Do your own dishes? I do. It’s easy if you cook for one and have mise-en-place. When I lived in Mumbai, I had the door-bell (evil fucking contraption) uninstalled. I never had a dhobi knocking on my door. You don’t really need one. Just take your laundry to the dhobi or local laundry at your convenience.

    Really, it’s up to you… It doesn’t have to be miserable. Took/taking me a while to realize that.

    1. @Suddenly Truth: You seem to be labouring under the impression that you are my therapist and are required to give me a solution for my life’s problems. I suggest you read the post again. I’m talking about a solution I have implemented for my life. As for your ‘solution’, why should I run away from here? This is home. It has its flaws and I have every right as a citizen of this country to point them out and build a better life for myself here without being told to go elsewhere if I don’t like it.

      I have no idea when you lived in Mumbai, for how long and in what manner. Why would you even want to live here if you didn’t want to interact with people? It’s one of the most crowded cities in the world. You also seem to take a condescending sort of pride in doing your own dishes. That’s quite cute but how often did you cook? How about washing clothes? You seem to need to pay a laundry to do that. And finally, you might think cutting out family, friends, service people and everyone else in general is a great solution. I call it running away.

      I’d shy away from pointing out these things in such a harsh manner but really, your comment is highly offensive in how condescending and self-righteous it is. If you don’t need people at all, maybe you should think about why you need to offer random strangers such detailed solutions on what you think are their life’s problems.

  2. It’s important to have the ME time and decided to do it once a week, to be with the self, reading and doing stuffs that please me. People will always be there to criticize but since they don’t walk in your shoes, they don’t have the right to assume!

  3. Condescending and self-righteous? Really, is that what I get for trying to help?

    I don’t like your solution. Every day should be bliss, not one day every week.

    There’s no reason to be proud of home just because it is so. If the path of least resistance and most effectiveness means running the hell away, that’s a wonderful idea.

    As for your questions, I lived in Mumbai because I was born in and grew up there (didn’t exactly pick it). I no longer do. I moved out on my own when I was 14 and have DIY’d most chores. I don’t like doing laundry because it can be easily outsourced- doesn’t require the presence of the dhobi inside my dwelling while he works. Very unlike doing the dishes or making one’s bed. This is more than what may seem to be antisocial behavior, it has a lot to do with freedom and doing things on one’s own time as opposed to waiting for X/the help to show up. I regret not having learned to cook well before I eventually did. It takes a lot of time and effort, but pays off.

    I also dislike the condescending tone in which you refer to “strangers.” What’s wrong with talking to random strangers? It can be a lot more interesting than interacting with the same old pre-vetted clique.

  4. Would it be OK if a man actually fakes the same behaviour once a month? I do it. It is just that I want the woman to know what it is when they face a similar situation.

    1. @Apasserby: You are kidding, aren’t you? Do you suppose taking a day off every month helps you understand what a period feels like? Do whatever you want but I wonder why you’d feel the need for approval on that.

  5. @IdeaSmith, I wasn’t kidding. I treat women equally, which means that I treat them the way I treat guys or children. If one is ill, you are considerate. But when you are ill, you take rest. Not throw tantrums and expect a logical answer back. So, I just want them to know when such a situation happens, how the other person feels. It is just wearing the other person’s shoes. Am I wrong in my thinking?

    1. @Apasserby: You are. Firstly, a woman on her period is not ‘ill’. Secondly, a period includes physical manifestations such as dizziness, nausea, upset stomach, headaches, hot flashes and weight gain. It also includes massive hormone surges that cause can crushing depression (to the point of suicidal at times). You really have no idea what all of that can feel like. And no, I am not sympathetic. You are not doing any woman a favour by being ‘considerate’. I’d like to see how you fare when you’re facing that level of physical and emotional discomfort, expected to do your usual chores, face the unrealistic expectations laid on your gender, put up with the opposite sex’s insensitivity as well as expecting to be lauded for being ‘considerate’, being talked down to and then stay ‘logical’.

      Look at your first comment. ‘Fakes the same behaviour’ you’ve said. If you think a woman is faking it, then oh boy, just how self-important, self-centered and insecure are you? I am extremely put off by both of your comments. Please take your self-obsessed notions elsewhere or at least do some research on what actually happens to a woman’s body during her period.

  6. One small correction – I never asked her to do their chores. Just ake rest. Sleep. Drink a hot cup of tea time and again. I will deliver the tea. Can we just have the conversations postponed?
    Secondly, ill can be timely. If one does not feel their best sell, then I guess they are ill. Eiither physically, emotionally or otherwise.

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