Designing Your Own Happy
I primarily left the corporate world because of the people. I couldnβt bear the idea of living the rest of my life, centered around pettiness and politics and thatβs all I saw around me. I drifted gradually into more creative circles. I met artists, writers, musicians, actors, performers. I also met a lot of people who were doing other things independent of the corporate world. Entrepreneurs, new industry pioneers, people who had either quit or said no to more traditional and lucrative (read responsible) life choices. Yes, there is no such a thing as a compartmentalised career, especially not in a place like Mumbai. What you do for a living defines the other aspects of your life and the roles you get to play in society too.
Here too, I found disillusionment in human beings, in how often we allowed ourselves to fall into small-time manipulation and bickering instead of chasing things that really inspired us. My sabbatical hit shock after shock. My father said,
βWhat do you expect? Itβs people. Youβll find that everywhere.β
I had had about a decade of people experiences before I walked this path. Why then, did I expect the world outside the corporate structure would be different?
Hereβs why. No one becomes an insurance agent or a market researcher or a project manager for the love of it. Sure, a lot of people find tremendous satisfaction in the jobs they are doing. But how many of them would continue doing so if they didnβt have to or if they didnβt get paid to do them?
On the other hand, I left what may have been a more comfortable life behind because I saw a tiny opportunity to spend it doing what I loved instead. I would have and I did write even when I wasnβt getting paid for it, even when I didnβt have to do it. Much before the internet and blogging were realities, I was writing. I imagine these worlds are populated by people like myself, who were pulled out of their steady lives by the dream of something that touched them more. I didnβt expect to find the kind of spiritual fatigue, the weary psyche that causes people to politic rather than inspire, here.
Iβve known a poet whose primary objective is to play victim. Iβve spoken to a standup comic who spends more time brooding over how his successful peers only got that way through contacts. Iβve been with a performer whose sole objective is to maintain the identity of an angry, downtrodden rapper to the exclusion of all else. Iβve hung around with countless entrepreneurs whoβve used their business/project as an excuse to write away all kinds of terrible behaviour (cheating, disrespect, fraud). And Iβve met countless writers who areβββplain and simpleβββassholes. Thatβs it, that is their whole entire identity. An asshole who happens to write.
The last gives me a little clue into whatβs happening, perhaps because I know this group best, being one myself (writer, I hope, not asshole). Most of us donβt really, truly know what weβre chasing. We give it the best, easiest or most socially acceptable label we can find. Itβs not cool to say Iβm seeking more popularity than I have here. Or that I want to be pampered and my life doesnβt give me that. Or that I think the world owes me a favour but if I have a regular job, Iβm expected to give as I take so that doesnβt work for me.
Itβs really the same things that people in the corporate world are searching forβββfame, money, success but also acknowledgement, belonging, approval, respect, identity. The kind of structured universe that the corporate world is, just enforces some kind of order and following of rules with or without enrollment. Maybe itβs true. Those who canβt abide by that have bigger problems.
Then again, I guess itβs okay as long as you get what youβre looking for. Thereβs nothing poetic about a drama queen but thatβs fine if youβre looking for attention, not beauty. Resentment is not funny either but maybe youβre not looking for a reason to laugh yourself. As for the angry rapper, well, maybe my idea of unhappiness is his idea of fulfilment.
Me? I chose peace and happiness. Iβm not the best writer around but Iβm being the best I know how to be. Iβm not the most successful or even the best known but I try to remember that I was inspired by the thought of a lifetime of writing, not a fat bank balance. Itβs feeling like things are more better than worse and I feel that way. Happiness is not a 24×7 party and Iβm just glad I get to go to it.
https://instagram.com/p/61dUbkwmA7/
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If you liked this post, youβll want to follow the Facebook Page. Iβm Ramya Pandyan (a.k.a. Ideasmith) and Iβm on Twitter and Instagram.
Yes, it’s not possible to be happy all the time. But the pursuit of happiness can be a full time thing! π
And btw, is running away from people a sign that we have not accepted our own frailties fully? What do you think?
Wonderfully summarised.
Happiness matters more than pettiness and office politics played by sore losers. I’ve seen those assholes operating and right now, I am mulling on a decision that I need to take. Let’s keep the faith:)