This was written (like most of my poetry) a long time back…a lifetime ago when I was anonymous. I’m posting this today to celebrate my own decision to give up the last vestige of my anonymity. So for those of you, my dear readers, who don’t know me yet, my name is Ramya Pandyan. I’ve enjoyed writing under the handle of IdeaSmith for five years and it has been a luxury to use it as a comfort blanket. With a lot of love and only a little regret, I’m letting it go. I guess I’ll still be known as IdeaSmith for some time to come now, since it is so enmeshed with all my online activities from Twitter to my email address to Facebook to the address of this blog. But I hope you’ll remember it as a quirk, a sweet indulgence on my part. I certainly will.

~O~O~O~O~O~

I could write a love-song for you
Half-way across the world
Drawn from a mind full of images
Of photographs and emails and messages and posts
And not one single real, live memory

But if you were to come up to me and say hello
I’d pause and stare bewildered
And stammer a flippant ‘Hi!’
Jaunty enough to keep you from seeing how you threw me off balance
And perhaps so perky that you’d wonder if you only imagined how soulful I really was

I could produce endless reams of words
And discuss life and karma and science
Argue with your theories
Then prove them right
Confuse you, dazzle you, charm you, seduce you
And keep you wanting more

But if we were to actually meet
The conversation would flounder
I’d giggle unnecessarily and nervously
Then frown and fidget and grimace
(at the streaks on the wall behind you…only you thought I was looking at you)
And then leave abruptly…flitting away it would seem…would you suspect I was running away?

I could touch your heart and your soul
With my doleful meanderings and my brilliant compositions alike
Speak to you alone like your own personal woman Friday
Your best friend, your inner voice, your conscience, your alter ego, your soulmate, your virtual shrink
So much a part of you

And yet I’m not
I”m me with my quirks and fears and qualities
I’m me, chirpy, undignified and restless
I’m me, stranger, foreigner, alien
I’m me like you’d never recognize or even want to know of

Anonymous is an assumed identity.

Ideasmith a.k.a. Ramya Pandyan

7 thoughts on “Anonymous”
  1. well what do we say congrats or welcome? 😉 kuch nahi kehte hai coz I will remember ideasmithy and ideasmith for a long long time.
    Liked the poem and made me remember a post by someone which had almost the same meaning as your poem. I smiled while reading because the poem and that post, both, are beautiful and somewhere I found a connection with me.
    .-= Sudeep´s last blog ..Life is an old lady’s tears =-.

    1. @Rehab: That’s the best and most apt description I’ve heard about it yet!

      @Harish: You’re lovely yourself, sweetie. You are a real inspiration to other people, to stand up and just be oneself!

      @Sudeep: 🙂 Thank you very much. Ideasmith and ideasmithy have become so ingrained with my own identity, they’re going nowhere in a hurry!

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