I worked hard all week. Stayed out late with friends on a weeknight. Zombie-drifted through work the next day. Slipped up, picked up. Sulked, talked, missed, hit.
Friday night I stayed in late, some out of guilt, some because I wasted an hour browsing online not feeling upto working and some because I am conscientious in part. Then I left for home and on a whim went for a movie with some people. The movie was the very trashy ‘Life in a Metro’. Anyone seeing the movie might think that everybody in this city sleeps with people they aren’t supposed to, lives in penthouses and is generally neurotic. We laughed too loudly, made too many bad jokes, ate stale, unhealthy multiplex snacks for dinner. I made eyes at the guy in the coffee counter and he let me pour as much chocolate syrup into my drink as I liked without an extra tab. I could have afforded it but it made me smile. And him too.
Oh, I had coffee which I’ve been abstaining from for over two years. And then Tang at 2 in the morning. Up talking till 5 in the morning. Falling asleep on a strange couch. Waking up to let the bai in, who didn’t bat an eyelid at the stranger at the door. Left at 8 in the morning. And thought for the thousandth time what sheer bloody luck I have to be born in this time in this city. How wonderful it is to be me!
I have an imperfect life, blemished skin, non-impressive job. I’ve been in too many trashy relationships and not enough loving ones. I haven’t loved enough, felt loved enough. I’ve neglected people for flash boyfriends, unsatisfactory work and just mood swings. But I have found friends in unexpected places. Entirely by surprise I’ve discovered that I still possess the capacity to love. Every day I’m so glad to have the gift of sight that brings me all that I love – reading, painting, blogging, writing and the sight of my family and friends. Life in this metro….ain’t so bad, you know?