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  1. I read your other post (The Married male friend), and (admiteddly) skimmed thru this.

    This is not a gender thing. I feel strongly about that. Because it isn’t.

    I kind of identify of with the psyche that you talk about, I think that I may have to come to terms with a “love”-less life.

    In the same refrain, you may like this Youtube channel; “The School of life”.

    It isn’t all or nothing. You have to A: Decide if you like the cards that you’ve been dealt and then B) work with them… (or against),

    “Relationships” per se are a relatively modern, western construct and society tries hard to sell it to us but to make it work is usually a pipedream.

    And please leave me out of the “Great Indian Family Culture” as you describe it, I am talking about Asian girls… My most recent girlfriend seems too good to be true, but I can not “take it to the next level” because I’m inherently suspicious of her, what’s so good about me (I am insecure/suspicious) other than ____ & ____, it’s a leap of faith. If you want to do that, go for it. It comes down to priorities.

    If you want someone to be besides you, they may want to play by the social rules and conventions. They romanticize companionship.

  2. That’s a smack bang post, Idea Smith and enjoy reading your observation. I am child in a grown up body and as far as marriage is concerned, I am not into this thing. Well, my space is sacred.I’ll prefer to be a live-in relationship rather than be confined socially into an institution that I do not really believe in. A construction by society with its own biased yardstick, fuelled by the capitalist movement.

    1. @vishalbheeroo: My primary problem with it is how skewed it is in favour of men. Yes, I know divorce law is supposed to benefit the woman more (though I’m inclined to believe that’s meninist propaganda). Wedding rituals, the giving up of one’s name, the excessive demands by in-laws, the normalisation of disrespect to a woman’s identity – these are all things that the institution of marriage brought us.

  3. Remember one married man telling his wife, “he just wants to get into your pants”. After years I realised it is partly is an integral part of our psyche ,it cannot be removed or suppressed as it is the basis of our being. So how ever much I thought we were just friends was true till there came a time of sexual thoughts.
    The imbalance of males to females has made these normal feelings treated as unusual.this is rarely the case in societies where there is a healthy ratio of males to females.
    They will be called manboy ,mommy’s boy .facing straight proposition constantly from so many men will always being on similar reactions.most of these men will find woman who will say yes.woman who were also probably blogged by male bloggers called daddy’s girl or a loser in relations as she was not mature enough to keep her marriage or relationship together.
    Navigating the relation landscape where there are imbalances is tough and those who dare take a chance has to be slapped,called names before they hopefully find the right partner