I visited North India (Himachal Pradesh & Chandigarh) this week. The last time I was there was in 2018, pulled abruptly out of an impending midlife crisis & looming health scares to cremate an unexpectedly deceased relative. I’ve never liked the mountains. My only associations with them have been under…
Spoiler alert: This post talks about the film Gehraiyaan & references several key plot points. If you haven’t seen the film & plan to, please do not read further. Trigger warnings: Childhood neglect, self-harm, abuse, infidelity. ~O~O~O~O~O~O~ Yes, I said that. I know today is Valentine’s Day & this film…
Girl, love yourself though it be hard. I know sis, I know, I’m there with you too. Though I don’t quite know how to do this right, I’m learning. And this means unlearning everything we have been taught since birth about what love means, what us means, what I means….
We are all facing the question of what privilege means, do we have it, how much of it and what this bodes. Race, caste, gender, religion, language. Privilege creates barriers & hierarchies. Because it’s inherently unjust, it’s also subtle & silent. People with privilege literally cannot see it. Because their…
#BoysLockerRoom presents an idea of solidarit as a quality used to protect wrongdoers from consequences. Everyone is made to participate as a virtue. I want to reclaim this idea of solidarity. It’s not a fortress meant to protect privilege. It’s a context of support that nurtures people’s better values. Women are…
I reconnected with a woman I knew very slightly years ago. At the time, I assumed she was snooty (and so many unflattering things we’re taught to think about ourselves and other women instead of acknowledging strength). When a wave of stories about men’s atrocities began coming out a couple…
Women. We are fed a steady diet of messages that other women are the enemy, that women can’t be friends, that women’s relationships with each other can only revolve around a man (Hello Anjali-Tina-Anjali of KKHH). The world looks at us as objects to be exploited and maximised for use….
I used to think of myself as ‘one of the boys‘, because I didn’t identify with how femininity was practised around me. I wanted to own my intelligence, my independence and strength the way I saw only boys do. I walked, talked and dressed in a close approximation of my…
SXonomics was featured on The Reproductive Justice Happy Hour podcast. Just like SXonomics, TRJHH is also a collaboration between two women, this time cross-continental. The podcast takes on feminist issues as they pertain to desi audiences, in India and the diaspora. I’d already had a chance to talk to Surabhi…
https://www.instagram.com/p/BabKbEVnI6M/ Girl Talk There’s nothing like girl talk between former tomboys. It’s dreams and drama and nostalgia and world dominion and yearning and alliance and fireworks all in one. Be a girl. At least once in your life. If you liked this, please follow my microfiction/micropoetry at https://www.yourquote.in/ideasmithy
It’s housekeeping time in the relationships corner of my life. I find myself going through this periodically. I unfriend people on Facebook that I don’t even remember ever interacting with. I withdraw from groups and communities that I do not find myself engaged with. And hardest but most important of…
Of the many wars a woman fights, body image issues are some of the hardest to tackle. Because they’re always fought by an army of one against the whole world inside the dark battlefield of one’s mind. I have a form that fits a few popular beauty standards, enough for…
Let me start with this bromance joke that absolutely cracked me up: Do guys in a bromance get each other flower “Dude, here I got you some broses” “Oh man bro, you read my mind I got you some daffodudes” I’m in a bromance. It’s with another woman. No, we…
I picked out a book by one of my favorite authors. I have all her other books and each of them has been lovingly thumbed through at least 5 or 6 times each. Every single one except this one. It usually gets missed because it’s a bigger size than the…
I’ve been thinking about girlfriends a lot recently. Men have comprised a major part of my life in these past ten years. They have been my primary references and the biggest influences on my identity and my relationship with the world. I’m not talking only about boyfriends. There still are…
*Image (without text) via audfriday13 on FreeDigitalPhotos.net I love him. I love her. He loves her. She loves him. They both adore me. We’re not a threesome or anything as radical as that. We’re three people who know each other from different times and places. There’s love and loyalty and…
I watching a TV show where a character is bothered by another girl who borrows her clothes, tries to get in with her friends and finally, copies her hairstyle. I know most men will see this as typical teen queen drama. It reminded me of two incidents from my life…
I should probably re-word the title of this post. For an average Indian male at least, she’s the First Woman. Technically so for every single man, actually. Mama, Earth Mother, Ma Goddess. I saw the appalling Devdas (with SRK, Ashen-faced Rai and la Dixit) with someone who had read the…
Love Rehab: A Novel in Twelve Steps by Jo Piazza My rating: 3 of 5 stars Since ChickLit, there’s been a host of books in a new genre I’m going to call ‘This is not ChickLit’. Love Rehab is one of this type. It is about relationships and there is…
An old schoolfriend and I got back in touch recently and she’s metamorphosed from pigtails & dolls into a uber-stylish but still fun diva. Her birthday’s coming up and she invited me to a dressy, fun night out on town with some of her friends. Her enthusiasm charmed me, especially…
