Older And Wiser

Tell me what it’s like.

she says.

Does it get better with time?

I pause and wonder what to say.

Can I give her an honest answer?

That it won’t..in some ways.

That heartbreak hurts as much at 30 as it does at 20.

That you never quite get used to the pain of letting go, no matter how often you’ve done it….though you might learn the lesson of numbness.

That love and cheating and tenderness and passion will continue to turn up unanticipated…and unwelcome, no matter how clear your vision stays.

That eventually dreams will become the last survival tactic for those who don’t have God or Family or FairyTales anymore.

No, I decide, I can’t tell her all of that. I can’t paint the next decade in a pall of gloom before it’s even arrived.

So I take a deep breath and say instead…

What does change is all the things in your head.

With the pain, there will be the aspirin of reality,
a little snapshot of the last time that grows clearer with time,
the knowledge that you survived that and so this you will too.

With time, other people’s opinions
will start to matter less than your own
or at least you’ll be able to pick and choose what you want to believe.

And if you’re smart…and I know you are,
you’ll have a Plan B or at the very least…an exit route.

So I end without lies, telling her the truth…but perhaps not all of it.

And I wish there were some lessons one didn’t need to learn.


*Dedicated to a very young and wonderful friend who asked the question. I hope she’s reading…or perhaps I hope she isn’t.

8 thoughts on “Older And Wiser

  1. I don’t know if time helps or hope diminishes, or anything changes, but what does change perhaps is the fact that you know that you’ve been through worse, and so this will pass. Soemday.
    This was a wonderful post, I can’t elucidate why it touched me or how, but it did.

    Dreamcatchers last idea:

  2. “With time, other people’s opinions
    will start to matter Less than Your Own”
    Couldn’t agree more.

  3. @ Dreamcatcher, shub: Thank you, lovely ladies.

    @ Cynic, Ms Taggart: Too later. I have reason to know she did.

    @ FullMoonOnEarth: And I hope she reads that bit too.

  4. Very well said…can’t agree more for most of the points..
    Though, I do not disagree, I still feel that, with time sometimes u realize that it happened for better for all..
    And u r in peace with the fact…This peace; how n when it comes…don know..

    once again very well put…

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