The Anti-Love Fundamentalists

The people who espouse hookups are just as fundamentalist in their beliefs as the people they scoff at (the shaadidotcom, till-death-do-us-part type). Love is no more a part of their mental makeup than the arranged marriage believers.

The Marriage Fundamentalists impose tradition and religious rituals on every aspect of the male-female interaction. The Hookup Loyalists draw rigid boundaries on what may be said, done, thought and felt. Both of them measure ‘deliverables’, assess you for your resultworthiness and are ruthless in cutting you down if you don’t match up.

I don’t believe in the entire family-dictates-the-relationship system that is so honoured by the great Indian value system. Astrological matches, bank accounts and family pedigree have everything to do with that system. It strikes me as brutally businesslike. So cold.

I also don’t understand the sex-no-strings concept as it’s getting pushed about. What is sex without sensation? How can you have a sensory experience when you dull your senses? To me, that’s like eating a gourmet meal with your eyes and nose shut and your taste buds dulled. And this feels transactional as well. Cold, again.

I think I’d like to get to know people. I need to have an agenda-free conversation with a person to figure out (in conjunction with them) how we relate to each other and where we would like to see that conversation going. Isn’t this a fundamental human need? But neither system allows for this.

But more to the point, why does believing this make me uncool, boring or (yes, one person said this), not fit to be on the social circuit? The rabidity with which I’m hounded for my no-hookup belief is rivalled only by the unbelievable pressure to get married, that I experienced in my mid-20s.

I’m afraid we’re a generation of people who’re chasing a strange notion of love, so we can pound it to a pulp and burn its remains.