Hard To Love
I am hard to love. This is not news to me. This has been expressed in a range of ways, covert & overt, verbal & otherwise. The revelation is that it has only partly to do with who & how I am. The rest has to do with who &…
Love
Lessons On Being Loved
Some of us need to learn how to be loved. How to receive warmth & not fear burns. How to forget that trembling alone, arms wrapped around ourselves, is not the same thing as being held. How to feel without flinching. How to change a body rhythm that only beats…
A Big Word
When people say the word ‘love’, I usually recoil. I say that’s a real big word, one I don’t really know how to say. My language is rooted in past experiences & it pulls up memories of difficult feelings when it registers the word love. And then there are moods…
Healing A Heart
Stop trying to heal people hoping that they will love you for it. That is not how healing works.
Bad Advice
25 years ago Mary Schmidt wrote ‘Tips from a speech never given’. It was read by many people including a teen me. I thought some day I’d be able to tell people how to life right. I’m at mid-life crisis because how else to describe someone who refuses to act…
Sin Addiction
Don’t I look like all the sins you’re going to commit tonight? Feeling flows through me the way water runs through the planet. What is sin but another you rippling along?
Patchwork Relationship
All of you homesick for the sickness of love, hating yourself for thinking of an ex, propping yourself on memories of a relationship, wondering if healing will ever be clean. It won’t. It can still be beautiful. Includes a podcast performance.
Holding Hands
You’re uncomfortable in silences. In sighs. In whispers. In conversations. How do you feel about holding hands?
Capacity For Joy
I crossed a birthday last month. Joy is getting harder and harder to know.
The Three Mistakes Of My Thirties
On the last day of my thirties, I look back at the three mistakes that marked this decade.