It’s a lesson in what trust is & what we mean when we say we trust someone.
It’s really hard to say “Trust me” to yourself. So we build up people who can say it to us. When we call someone trustworthy, aren’t we really saying we are giving them the job of taking care of us? That’s why it’s so hard to say it to ourselves. And so much easier to let someone else take the slack & the fall if things should go awry.
It’s a bad idea to treat trust as currency. Trusting someone does not ensure that they will not break that trust. Being trustworthy does not guarantee that others will. We can’t even say that a trustworthy person will stay that way always. If you saw a crescent moon one night & on another it wasn’t there, would you call the moon untrustworthy?
Why we trust may be more important than how we trust & who we trust.
In one of the lowest points in my life, after ending a violent relationship, I found one idea. “This hurts a lot but this pain IS NOT me. That means I will recover at some point.” I let that idea guide me. It meant at some point, I had to let go of identifying with pain, to release the bandages of the label of abuse survivor. That’s just something that happened to me, it is not ME.
It was my way of regaining trust in myself after letting myself down. It was my way of forgiving myself for trusting someone who hurt me. And eventually it had to become a way of healing myself from seeing trusting as a stupid or weak action. I had to re-trust trusting.
Because trusting is an act of courage. After all, what makes us mistrustful but fear? To trust after being hurt, means to pick yourself up from the world of pain, to once more see that there are things beyond you. It is to simultaneously recognise that you are insignificant & to see that this doesn’t mean powerless. To trust is to know you can always heal & that rebirth is ever possible.
Maybe you can only trust an idea, not a person. Because trusting is personal evolution & that’s too heavy to hang onto someone else. Trust isn’t blind faith. It’s active choice, knowing anything is possible and that this means freedom, not fear.
Tell yourself, “Trust me.”