Map Of Emotion

Navigating complex emotions of jealousy, ambition, insecurity, joy, fear, peace, anger, happiness, betrayal, contentment, disappointment, love.

Soft Places
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Soft Places

You can be grateful for the beauty & also upset at the ugliness. The things that inspire these co-exist & sometimes in the same place. Why would the feelings that these bring up, not be able to occupy the same mind simultaneously? Human beings can feel more than one feeling…

When Abandonment Wounds Are Your Teacher
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When Abandonment Wounds Are Your Teacher

There comes a point when you have to act like the person who left you will never come back. It’s essential to accept it in order to seek healing. But at some point, you must also ask yourself that if they do return, whether you’ll take them back. That’ll tell…

Learning To Read Poetry
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Learning To Read Poetry

One of the nicest things I’ve experienced recently has been going to a bookshop. A bonafide, books neatly arranged on shelves by aisles bookshop. It’s been so long since I was in a bookshop at all. My Landmark love lies a decade in my past. And since then, I’m afraid…

The Love Depths
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The Love Depths

We don’t love people because they deserve it. We love people because we deserve it. Because this feeling is a healing one. It’s joyful and ticklish and inspiring and uplifting. We all deserve to feel that way some time. It can feel like hurt & pain, especially if like me,…

The Unbearable Kitsch Of A Kundera Life
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The Unbearable Kitsch Of A Kundera Life

This is the book that set me on the cultural stereotype path that I would live out for the next 16 years (and still going?). The people I hungered to be around in the 2000s (MNC-employed, literature spouting, pretension-grooming) spoke eloquently about Milan Kundera and Haruki Murakami. Of course many…

Love Language
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Love Language

LOVE LANGUAGE – my journey deciphering my experiences through the words of love songs in different languages

Dignity In A World Of Tumult
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Dignity In A World Of Tumult

I’ve been thinking about dignity. I do, a lot, especially when I feel I’ve not been dignified. I haven’t felt it lately because I haven’t felt in control of anything. But dignity isn’t about control, is it? I realised that most of my emotional decisions were trauma reactions. It wasn’t…

So Long & Thanks For All The Sunshine!
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So Long & Thanks For All The Sunshine!

I have never enjoyed the rain & we have at least another month of it. My allergies flare up, I struggle to breathe, everything smells musty, feels itchy. And the grey, gloomy skies dampen my immunity & my spirits.I’ve been cycling for a month now. Tentatively & then defensively, first…

𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗟𝗘𝗢 👑
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𝗟𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗟𝗘𝗢 👑

The month was full of learning. 2020 was hard, getting hit by a pandemic no one had seen the likes of. But 2021 was the slow, grueling grind back into a world that will never be the same. The soul-crushing realisation that all things break – stability, connections & worst…

🆃🅷🅴 🅿🅾🅻🅸🆃🅸🅲🅰🅻 🅸🆂🅽’🆃 🅹🆄🆂🆃 🅿🅴🆁🆂🅾🅽🅰🅻, 🅸🆃’🆂 🅴🅼🅾🆃🅸🅾🅽🅰🅻
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🆃🅷🅴 🅿🅾🅻🅸🆃🅸🅲🅰🅻 🅸🆂🅽’🆃 🅹🆄🆂🆃 🅿🅴🆁🆂🅾🅽🅰🅻, 🅸🆃’🆂 🅴🅼🅾🆃🅸🅾🅽🅰🅻

Why do abused women support misogynist regimes? Maybe it’s because their violators were feminists. What, is that not possible? Yes, it is. I’m living proof that it happens. Feminism, activism, promises & politics are words. Hot air, marks on surfaces. Sometimes those marks are wounds on bodies & minds. Ideas…

𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗖𝗢𝗢𝗡 𝗜𝗦 𝗧𝗢𝗢 𝗦𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗟
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𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗖𝗢𝗢𝗡 𝗜𝗦 𝗧𝗢𝗢 𝗦𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗟

When you go long enough turning scars into art, you start thinking of wounds as poetry. And the cacophony of imaginary voices, as the orchestra of your soul. You seek out people who call you beautiful when you bleed. People who willing aid you in that process, a little too…

𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗟𝗬 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 & 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗠𝗨𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗚𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗙

𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗘𝗟𝗬 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 & 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗠𝗨𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗚𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗙

The odd thing is that love is a lonely, lonely experience but grief is a communal one. Love is lonely. We struggle to explain why we love who we love, often even to the object of our affections. For even in reciprocation, there isn’t equality. Love after all, is an…

𝙇𝙄𝙁𝙀 𝘼𝙎 𝘼 𝘽𝙄𝘾𝙔𝘾𝙇𝙀 𝙍𝙄𝘿𝙀
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𝙇𝙄𝙁𝙀 𝘼𝙎 𝘼 𝘽𝙄𝘾𝙔𝘾𝙇𝙀 𝙍𝙄𝘿𝙀

Life is a cycle ride. You can twist that metaphor so many ways. You never really forget how to, even if you check out of actively doing it for a bit. It’s about balance. It’s when you stop thinking about it & just do it. Would death be when you…

Seeking Sincerity
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Seeking Sincerity

Does anybody remember Sincerity? She hasn’t been seen in a long time. We read about her in Moral Science textbooks. We co-opted her name in the style of the (insincere) British as we learnt to sign letters. Sincerely, Yours. Sincerity was never in vogue. He’s come in under attack by…

♌ 𝔸𝕌𝔾𝕌𝕊𝕋 ℝ𝕀𝔻𝕀ℕ𝔾 🦁
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♌ 𝔸𝕌𝔾𝕌𝕊𝕋 ℝ𝕀𝔻𝕀ℕ𝔾 🦁

I started cycling. It’s a wobbly road back into the world, hard for me used to coping with fear by retreating into a shell & forgetting that I’m in a shell. But August approaches. It’s Leo season, that promises & demands strength, courage, vitality, things that cannot be contained inside…

Say ‘TRUST ME’ To Yourself
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Say ‘TRUST ME’ To Yourself

Try it. It’s a lesson in what trust is & what we mean when we say we trust someone. It’s really hard to say “Trust me” to yourself. So we build up people who can say it to us. When we call someone trustworthy, aren’t we really saying we are…

Don’t Just Do Something! Stand There!
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Don’t Just Do Something! Stand There!

…said an older friend over twenty years ago. It came up in a general conversation, not as a request to me. He didn’t explain but it opened up a train of thought that has only now pulled into my mind’s station. This month Mumbai led the second wave of COVID…

Shameless Self
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Shameless Self

A friend’s admission about experiencing shaming made me think. All shaming is bullying. We all know what shaming feels like. We’ve been in the presence of other people’s distress, of remembered hurt, of confusion & fear. We’ve been at the receiving end of people who can’t or won’t manage their…

A Big Ask
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A Big Ask

Ask for what you need. Don’t beg for it. Don’t demand it. Don’t rush it. Don’t force it. Ask for what you need because it is an exercise in knowing yourself, facing your many imperfections & other ways you connect with the world. You must acknowledge these before you can…