A Big Ask

Ask for what you need. Don’t beg for it. Don’t demand it. Don’t rush it. Don’t force it. Ask for what you need because it is an exercise in knowing yourself, facing your many imperfections & other ways you connect with the world. You must acknowledge these before you can build rich connections with life. ... Read More

The Last-But-One Chance Saloon

I am re-reading ‘The Last Chance Saloon’, a book that I was gifted in 2006 according to the inscription, by a person who is no more in my life. It was my first Marian Keyes and through my late 20s I would chart out a life that was guided by writers like her. I did ... Read More

π•Ώπ–π–Š π•Ώπ–œπ–” π•½π–Šπ–†π–‰π–Šπ–—π–˜

Remember the collectors’set I received in π•Ώπ–π–Š π•±π–Šπ–‘π–‘π–”π–œπ–˜π–π–Žπ–• 𝕺𝖋 π•Ώπ–π–Š π•½π–Šπ–†π–‰π–Šπ–—π–˜? I got to 19 without completing it. Final year, I was regretfully back in a course I’d tried to escape, squirming in a world that never stopped feeling foreign. Old associations die harder than habits so I didn’t have friends. I returned to the ...

π•Žβ„π”Όβ„• π•π•†π•Œ 𝕄𝕆𝕍𝔼 π”Ήπ•Œπ•‹ 𝕋𝕀𝕄𝔼 π”»π•†π”Όπ•Šβ„•’𝕋

I once had a relationship with a man 5 years younger than me. He was the first guy I dated who wasn’t proudly homophobic & I’d only recently figured out why that was important to me. He was the only man who didn’t constantly size me up like a piece of meat, ponder how best ...

π•Ώπ–π–Š π•±π–Šπ–‘π–‘π–”π–œπ–˜π–π–Žπ–• 𝕺𝖋 π•Ώπ–π–Š π•½π–Šπ–†π–‰π–Šπ–—π–˜

As a kid, I was adrift in a sea of cultural influences, linguistic, communal, regional & personal. Maybe that’s a metropolitan childhood but life has always felt like a search for an identity anchor. I took to books early because an only child is a lonely child but words never go home at night. I ...

Healing In A Time Of Hate

A few years ago, I fell in with an activist group. I was out of an abusive relationship with no way to process. I was being blamed, urged to hide it, shamed for saying it did happen. I could barely think through the pain & gaslighting. When the group named it trauma, I felt able ... Read More

A Good Conversationalist

I haven’t been writing about men or dating much, have I? The last year has forced me to sit with myself, without everything that I thought was my life but which were actually coping mechanisms. Stripped of those, what did I have? Lots of wounds. I’m glad 2020 is over. I’ve been back on and ... Read More

Unbottling Fear

Fear. Why do we have such a toxic relationship with it? We use it to justify misbehaviour. “I cheated because I was afraid you didn’t love me.”, “I’m scared you’ll hurt me so I’ll hurt you first.” We wield it in Oppression Olympics, in boardroom dramas & in love stories alike. We operate as if ... Read More

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