Till Death Do Us Part: Ramblings on Commitment
I have been pondering the meaning of commitment. Ha. Today’s thought for the day says,
Honesty is not something to flirt with. We must be married to it.
Ever wonder who is responsible for these assorted thoughts, facts and jokes that find their way into my posts? A man, that’s who. Someone I’ve known for close to 8 years now. Never met. 8 years back there weren’t blogs (not in my world, anyway). Go figure.
Now coming back, isn’t it amazing how what he has to say to me, so closely mirrors something I’ve been thinking of – either to contradict or add to it? After my week of ranting about the paternal habits of human beings and other animals, honesty is the flavour of this week.
Ah, so I’ve dallied with pretence…the image of an Ogleworthy Girl but I find I’m returning, willy-nilly. Hell, I’m not just married to my honesty, I’m in till death do us part, for seven lifetimes….a belief by any other religion is the same.
~O~O~O~O~O~O~
Sitting across the ocean, a few hours ahead of me, in a city of delights available for the taking, ‘He‘ described the lack of apparel on the waitress of the restaurant he was in. And added,
So what do you think I should do now?
I replied,
Committment isn’t a piece of paper. It’s a state of mind.
I have no idea what he did next and I have no desire to know. If he didn’t stay true, nothing can change that – once is more than never and after that, nobody’s counting. If he did, well, nothing more to be said there, either, is there?
Honesty isn’t like a tree falling in a forest with no one to hear it. One more platitude – character is who you are in the dark. So finally, when it comes down to it, it doesn’t change a whit, what anyone else tells you to do, what you say or do to someone else.
All that matters is what you tell yourself.
~O~O~O~O~O~O~
Update much later: ‘He’ would go on to cheat on me. Not in a different country, not with that waitress. But a few kilometres away from me, with a person I had specifically told him I didn’t like. They didn’t even stay together. It was just spite. And that’s honesty that I’m married to but he wasn’t. Fifteen years later, he’s the one pledged to holy matrimony while I’m not. I’m still the more honest.
@Ideasmithy: Yes, I am questioning the definition of infidelity. Your definition above.
Yours has no mention of emotional infidelity – and which is more worse.
Is a mention of physical attractiveness infidelity. It sounds a bit too simple and flaky.
@ anantha: And I’m glad you’ve finally spoken up. I often wonder who is reading and why.
@ Rachna: Oh yes, don’t I know? But one must keep trying…
@ Brad: I’d have said ‘You’ll have to ask him that’ but since I’m not going to introduce the two of you, I guess your questions will stay unanswered.
@ Alazyguy: Yes, I thought so too. Not that it changed anything.
Another question- Why did he say what he said!
Just a question – how different is it from what Scarlet-O-Hara did in Gone with the wind.
Which one cuts through all the more?
Everyone does it. He was honest to himself and to you when he said that – that he is an animal.
Others fake throughout their lifetime. They cheat in their minds.
He said that when you guys were seeing each other?
YES! A loud resounding YES!!!! to that.
Unfortunately, the only person who I end up lying to is myself.
And the only one to whom I shouldn’t.
Yet- I loved the way you put it. And what you said- all that matters is what we tell ourselves.
Isn’t that extremely difficult? Its so easy to dupe oneself.
Been one of those über silent readers on here so far. I don’t know why I am putting this comment in now and funnily, I am not going to say much, either. Lovely blog/posts.