I have never enjoyed the rain & we have at least another month of it. My allergies flare up, I struggle to breathe, everything smells musty, feels itchy. And the grey, gloomy skies dampen my immunity & my spirits.I’ve been cycling for a month now. Tentatively & then defensively, first against bully male drivers, then remembered fears & finally the weather. I was lucky through all of August where my high energy days coincided with sunny moments (maybe that wasn’t a coincidence) & there were many of them.
As the month wound down though, I found the drops sliding down as I unlocked the cycle. The previous week I’d faced down a monster traffic signal, braved suspicious dogs & yelled back at bad (always male) drivers. I’d stood my ground, my right to the road & to exist. As the drizzle increased, I gritted my jaw & pulled on my helmet. So be it.
And I cycled in the rain. I left behind the fear of what people would make of my wet clothes. I had bigger potholes & puddles to worry about. I almost skid & unbalanced once, twice. But I righted myself with a “Steady, steady”. The droplets began sliding off my helmet into my eyes. I blinked back furiously. I’ve been used to doing that to tears for years now. Dripping water & messy sentiment shall not stop me anymore.
And when I came back, I’d clocked 28 minutes, no sweat & without having to stop once. Still breathing. Heart still beating. I realised, come rain or drizzle, July or May, the sun always shines on me. When it’s raining, I have the pocketfuls of sunshine, the handgrabs of memory to power me.
Why be afraid then? September, here we go.