As a blogger, I know the frustration and the maddening silence of the vast majority of my readers. The ones that never comment, never answer a poll or a question, never show me their existence except in the mysterious numbers on my stats charts. But oddly, I also know the side of me that clicks through every album visible to me on social networks, spends an entire night reading every post on a particular blog, ego-surfs the names of people I know slightly (or better)….and never mentions a word of it to the person it’s about. I am also a lurker.
I know that person, by nature, is never acknowledged publicly. There’s a heavy stigma around the word ‘lurker’ with associations of creepiness and stalking. But perhaps because the newfound title of writer gives me carte blanche to be curious, maybe because I can explain it away in the pretty sentence of “Every person has a story”, I acknowledge the lurker in me.
This post is for all those nameless people, you know who you are, who’ve kept me pondering and wondering and agonizing. But really, it’s also for the people whose lives I’ve vicariously lived, who’ve shared with such generosity, the important moments of their lives, in blogposts and photographs, the people in whose lives I lurk. Thank you for everything.
~O~O~O~O~O~O~
I never said hi Or so much as a may I Before I read The words that you’d bled Onto the screen The only go-between From you to this reader unseen
I never offered praise Or observation on your ways Or shielded you From barbs, the others threw No response, no judgment No replies to the questions you sent Out into the ether, not even acknowledgement
I watch you That’s what I do You entertain, you amuse You also provoke thought, when you so choose Your missteps, your very frailty leaves me nothing to say It’s also the reason I’ll never go away Where your words go, my mind will follow Unquestioning, silent every step of the way
A sense of rootlessness assails meHere I am, two and a half decades old…and feeling every minute of itLiving charades every dayJuggling roles and discarding masks for newer onesDoing everything right, hoping there’ll be an answer at the end. Running, running, constantly runningTo keep up with this carnival I’m a…
Since I quit my job a little over six months ago, the one question I keep getting asked is, So what are you doing these days? Interesting isn’t it, how one’s career defines one’s life? At one point of time I used to resent the fact that my I was…
Hi, I wondered for a bit before posting a comment but here I am acknowledging my presence on your blog! I am Priyanka (PK), initially I had wandered to your blog with a curiosity to know who the boy was seeing. But then, I kept coming back to the blog simply because I liked it, so thank you for many enjoyable and insightful reads.
Many months ago, I found myself stalking a person’s profile on facebook, he didn’t know me then and I was just hovering aimlessly on that page waiting for him to somehow discern my invisible cyber presence and send me a friend request! I knew then that I had reached the outer limits of healthy stalking, weird as it sounds and since then I have never gone back to that stalker’s paradise – only the occasional blog here and there I guess !
@Priyanka: ….and welcome to the blog and thanks for speaking up! The one thing I didn’t expect this post to do was to bring any of my lurkers out from the shadows but I’m glad it did. I don’t know about ‘healthy stalking’ any more. Just this morning, I read an article that called the social media, voyeuristic by nature. We are in the age of over-sharing and reality TV. I don’t think there are any limits anymore. If one’s online, one better get used to the idea that one’s (online) life isn’t private and act accordingly. We’re probably just feeling the natural stress of a paradigm shift. I wonder what the generations to come will make of the concept of voyeurism.
🙂 i think I have not been a lurker. Yeah, I do try and search for poeple i have come to know through my blog on FB and try to know more about them.
@arunima: You haven’t been a lurker to this blog, at least. I think our blogs have been friends for ages! 🙂
Hi, I wondered for a bit before posting a comment but here I am acknowledging my presence on your blog! I am Priyanka (PK), initially I had wandered to your blog with a curiosity to know who the boy was seeing. But then, I kept coming back to the blog simply because I liked it, so thank you for many enjoyable and insightful reads.
Many months ago, I found myself stalking a person’s profile on facebook, he didn’t know me then and I was just hovering aimlessly on that page waiting for him to somehow discern my invisible cyber presence and send me a friend request! I knew then that I had reached the outer limits of healthy stalking, weird as it sounds and since then I have never gone back to that stalker’s paradise – only the occasional blog here and there I guess !
@Priyanka: ….and welcome to the blog and thanks for speaking up! The one thing I didn’t expect this post to do was to bring any of my lurkers out from the shadows but I’m glad it did. I don’t know about ‘healthy stalking’ any more. Just this morning, I read an article that called the social media, voyeuristic by nature. We are in the age of over-sharing and reality TV. I don’t think there are any limits anymore. If one’s online, one better get used to the idea that one’s (online) life isn’t private and act accordingly. We’re probably just feeling the natural stress of a paradigm shift. I wonder what the generations to come will make of the concept of voyeurism.
Thank you again for commenting!
kind of made the lurker in me proud.
@Rambler: 😀
I lurk often 😀
But I’m not really a lurker =)
@Dreamcatcher: On The Idea-smithy, you’re an old, dear friend who has carte blanche to browse, sit around and not say a word if you so choose. 🙂