Looking For Peace

I sat on the grass for a long time. It felt like it, as I breathed every second that passed. The grass felt comfortable under my butt and thighs. Like a carpet? No, I’m a Mumbai girl, I’m not used to carpets. The park is full of little mounds and grassy gradations and the contours of this patch of land fit comfortably under my legs. I don’t remember the last time I tasted comfort like this. Even the quest for peace is unfamiliar.

I was facing the jogging track and people walked by me, heads angled in front, not a glance here or there, focused on building up their heart rate and burning their calories. It was odd to be ignored quite like that. How have I not noticed it earlier? Maybe because I’ve been one of them. Truly, we city people miss the lovely things right before our eyes as we chase after other things.

How often I myself have pounded down this same track, my feet keeping up with my thoughts, an iPod plugged into my ears or a phone conversation happening in parallel. I’ve been running away from things that are too much to bear, rushing through conversations that must be had. And that’s exactly what I see written on all the faces that whip past me on the track today. I hope they find their peace. I really hope. It’s all around, abundant and just waiting to be experienced.

Then, an ex- told me that I was just the same as ever, everlastingly full of angst. But he laughed as he said it, just as he always has. And I realized even if he were right, it didn’t matter anymore. I am just myself that’s all.

And A jauntily told me that it was a good thing to replace one’s friends. Relationships outgrew their purpose too and permanence was overrated, he said. There’s some solace to be drawn from that. Can I then let go of all the shackles that hold me back without fear? We hold the keys to our own handcuffs and we hold them with tight, fierce desperation.

It’s time to breathe. A deeeeeeeep breath. And let go.

Here’s what ChatGPT tells me about ‘Peace’:
Peace is a state of harmony, tranquillity, and freedom from conflict or violence. It can refer to both inner peace, which is a sense of calm and contentment within an individual, and external peace, which involves the absence of war, violence, or hostility in society or among nations.

Peace is often seen as a desirable goal for the well-being and prosperity of individuals and societies, as it allows for cooperation, development, and the pursuit of happiness without the fear of violence or instability. Different cultures and philosophies have their own interpretations of peace and ways of achieving it, but it is generally considered a fundamental aspiration for humanity.