CupTalk: To Stem Or Not To Stem?

You may remember my menstrual cup misadventures last month. A recap of my journey so far:

I started with SilkyCup, a medium sized menstrual cup with a stem (resulting in ‘vagitail’ in my early attempts)
I practised and found a folding technique that worked for me and I’m still learning about insertion
7 months in, I discovered that the leakage that was happening was not normal. A menstrual cup replaces or should replace all other sanitary products like tampons, sanitary napkins and panty liners.
I bought a SheCup, a medium sized menstrual cup without a stem
Insertion was easier. I perfected the punchdown fold. Leakage vanished.
The SheCup turned over completely inside me in December.
It turned around 90 degrees in February. It also leaked out enough to stain my bed in my sleep.
When removing the SheCup, it fell out and into the toilet bowl.

I’m over the upset of all this and I have decided that this is just trial-and-error till I find the best cup for me. My friend & fellow cup user is of the opinion that the SheCup’s firmer material makes it ‘pop’ open inside on insertion while the SilkyCup being softer, stays folded and leaves room for leakage. I am theorising that a stem keeps a cup from spinning. And both of us think that the two cups may not have been the right size for me too.

With these in mind, I’m back on the road to the perfect cup. I’m going to set aside time, some money and the determination to soldier through and not give up. The menstrual cup has too many benefits (financial, environmental, feminist) for me to give up on it at this stage.

I know a lot more menstruators are using menstrual cups now and several others are taking notice and have questions. I would like to start a discussion. So here are some questions. Share your thoughts and comments.

If you are a menstrual cup user, do you prefer one with a stem or without?
Have you had any troubles with the unfurling? How do you address those?
What fold/s do you use? Have you experimented with angles of insertion?
Has anyone noticed any increase/reduction in cramps? Any other physical changes noticed?

Leave your comments below and let’s get talking!