A Letter
My inbox blinked 1 new mail. Titled an insipid “Re: Hi”, it was a long ramble interspersed with “Oh god, what nonsense I’m talking” and abruptly ending with “You can make sense of most of my rubbish.” Yes, I can. Cliched as it is, that’s what friends are for. This letter is all that.
She remarked that she was thinking of one time we had a fight and didn’t speak to each other for a long time, till Easter. She said she couldn’t recollect what we fought about and wondered if she was a coward for auto-erasing unpleasant memories. And she asked if I remembered. Yes, I do. Cliched again, but good or bad, I don’t forget.
It is as clear as yesterday’s ride home. I can even track back to the dates. And the words. And the emotions. And the decision to turn my face away. And then to turn back to her again. But I didn’t tell her. I told her not to make a vice out of virtue and to continue letting go of unpleasant memories. She has a gift I don’t.
But she did remember that something happened. And that it was without me. And that it was unpleasant. That’s the only reason I didn’t feel the need to remind her of any more.
Even I block my mind about unpleasant things, things for which people have made me feel hurt, so forget them. You call it a gift.
But I just don’t forget the good memories. Hold on to them too tight. Thats what keeps me going sometimes.
But that gift of forgetting things that weren’t good, is not that great a gift cause it doesn’t help you move on, sometimes you need to hold on to that one bad thought to help you leave the past behind, forget about some people, if you only remember the good and forget how they hurt you, then you are that person who takes a long time to get over things! hmmff..
In your case I get what you are saying and I’m glad that she doesn’t remember the details, but forgetting the unpleasant is not always a virtue,… a different perspective 🙂
@Swetha: It’s a valuable perspective. I never thought about that, being so much of the other kind of person. The kind that clings onto memories for dear life, even when they are bad, broods over them incessantly. I guess it is an important part of healing and being able to let go.
@Ms Taggart: Too much clutter in there, no? I know what you mean.