A Refugee From Amatonormativity

I’ve heard of asexuality, aromanticism and polyamory. Then a friend sent me this video talking about AMATONORMATIVITY. Well-meaning friends have gently (or bluntly) told me that my experiences of abuse turned me against men/marriage. There may be some truth to that. The very thought of weddings – invitations, over-the-top engagement shoots, big loud band-baajas or ... Read More

The “Do They Treat You Well?” Play

I was watching an episode of ‘Kim’s Convenience’ where a concerned (possibly over protective) family is talking to their daughter about her love life. One of them asks, “Does he treat you well?” And I realised no one had ever asked me that. Not family members, not friends, not classmates, peers or anyone who has ... Read More

Raining Me

I am open walking wounds. I’m awash in the pain of those who hurt me. Because to bleed is to also stain & to infect. But you know, it hurts much more to fester alone, to bear wounds silently, to hide sores in pretence. In the feeling will there be healing. These too, will pass. ... Read More

Being My Age Is A Feminist Act

I’m often told I ‘don’t look’ my age. It’s served up as a compliment. It’s not. What’s complimentary about telling someone they don’t fit the box into which you’re trying to put them? I already know that by being open about my age (43 a week ago, when this photo was taken), I’m pushing back ... Read More

Lesson

My friend Saurabh referenced the idea that when the student is ready, the teacher arrives. He said when the teacher is ready too, the student arrives. I think student, teacher, lesson, these are all part of something more complex and yes, when they intersect it feels dramatic because it’s a story. Lessons take time to ... Read More

A Year Of Lonely Love & Communal Grief

For JD It’s coming on an year since our last conversation. A week when we were negotiating our definitions of intimacy, proximity, boundaries & identity. Sadly, I don’t even have the records of that any more. My phone crashed abruptly, last month. This is the same phone that you helped me test. Well, not the ... Read More

Magical & Miraculous

What does a miracle mean to you? A miracle is a point of wonder. Something that stops us in our tracks. You’re just going along with your life, walking the path ahead of you and all of a sudden, you look to your left and there’s a sheer cliff face that you never even realised ... Read More

The Compassion Chemical

I have been thinking about compassion. I find there’s no room for it in the stories we embrace to guide our lives. It is this that makes me feel I’m overflowing out of my body, spaces & life. What I have in me is labelled & pre-valued for tangible effects. Skills, decisions, actions. Feelings are ... Read More

Road To The Rainbow

𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚⚡ It feels wrong to speak of rainbows. To write about them is like trying to put a net around the breeze, to attempt to scoop up sunlight in a bowl. I have seen but a handful of rainbows and even that feels incorrect to say since I’ve never grasped at them. Just a breezy ... Read More

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