20 Steps: A Digital Love Story
1. He sends herย a carefully worded to sound casual-but-smart message.
2. She replies with the digital equivalent of a laugh.
3. Encouraged, heย does some more of that.
4. She chucklesย (digitally, of course). He notices that herย smile is crooked and that her teeth donโt quite line up. He wonders whether to judge her for not using Photoshop or be impressed that she doesnโt feel the need to.
5. While heโs thinking, she springs a snarky/smart/weird referenceย on him that makes himย laugh.
6. Encouraged, she does more of that.
7. They continue in this fashion, trading funny lines, witty insights and an occasional urban angst reflection, that they agree (without words) to consider original.
8. The dating siteย goes down for 27 hours. Theyย return surprised at the relief they feel that the chat history hasnโt been vaporised. But just in case, she says, maybe itโs not such a reliable platform after all? Sure, he agrees, how about moving this to chat instead?
9. They now feature on each otherโs โLast messagedโ and โAlways Showโ chat lists. Gripes about work, mid-morning panic pangs and Iโm-so-bored-but-itโs-not-time-to-stop-work-yet chats feature on these.
10. Work hits. Life intervenes. Illness happens. Or, never mind thatย deus ex machinaย crap, itโs just a weekend. But she types his name into the search bar every now and then. And he stalks her photos on a lonesome Tuesday night.
*Image (without text) viaย thanunkornย on FreeDigitalPhotos.net
11. 4 days later, a Hi goes unanswered. 2 days later the reply goes unnoticed. 3 days later a message goes undelivered. A week later, they are online at the same time but they donโt exchange a word.
12. 10 days later she says โWhatโs up?โ Heย replies โSame oldโ. Another week passes.
13. A month later, heย says โHeyโ. Sheย replies (after 20 minutes), โHow are you?โ. They talk. Itโs almost like it once was. Almost. But heโsย texting a prospective hookup about later. And she is parallel-chat-flirting with a new crush/Fwb. There are no goodbyes in this conversation that is peppered by intervals of at least 5 minutes between each message.
14. Three weeks later, he messages saying he isย going to be in her city. She replies โOh coolโ. No further communication.
15. Two days later she pings himย saying she saw his profile on another dating app and isnโt it funny how things turned out? He replies with a smiley.
16. A month later, she notices hisย profile picture has changed to show a geographic landmark that she recognises from her own city. She chooses not to comment on it. She forgets about it.
17. Heย changes hisย profile picture back to one more hisย style, his cityย after 2 weeks. This time, thereโs a girl in the picture as well, her head pressed close to his. Two weeks later, he notices the Facebook ticker shows her rapidly commenting and liking some guyโs status updates. His eyes move back to his feed before he can even think about it.
18. She receives a friend request from someone. Itโs an old classmate. Among the 37 common friends, she notices hisย face. And she wonders if she shouldย ask how they know him. Sheย files it away in herย head for a later, more casual conversation where it wonโt be noticed. And she forgets about it.
19. Heย pings and says โWhatโs up?โ. Sheย says โSame oldโ.
20. Repeat from 1.
~O~O~O~O~O~O~
I also posted this to my other blog, XX Factor. If you’d like to read more onย my take on modern relationships, do visit The Dating Game. Posts you might like: