Urban Loneliness

A sense of rootlessness assails me
Here I am, two and a half decades old…and feeling every minute of it
Living charades every day
Juggling roles and discarding masks for newer ones
Doing everything right, hoping there’ll be an answer at the end.

Running, running, constantly running
To keep up with this carnival I’m a part of
Trying every ride because I mustn’t miss out on a single thing
Suddenly I’m so very tired
I just want to go home

The Scream – E.Munch

But home is a fantasy that I’ve spun
To give me hope that there is life beyond
These bright lights and flashy people
And fast cars and big money
That there will be some place I belong

Home to me, is where I’ll find my peace
But I don’t know where or what that is or how I’ll find it
Home is somebody who loves me as I am
I don’t even know who I am
Home is full stop on this frenzied monologue.

All of a sudden everything I’ve ever read or heard about missing out on the best part of life while running after happiness floods into my head…

While you were hanging yourself on someone else’s words…dying to believe in what you heard…
…what is this life if full of care, you have no time to stand or stare….
… But all my words come back to me
In shades of mediocrity
Like emptiness and harmony
I need someone to comfort me

I have the whole world but it is not home
…call back the rocket, I think I got off on the wrong planet..