Red On The Floor

I thought about people who hit me. In plural. I experienced enough before adulthood. Yet at 23, when a man I loved hit me, I knew something was wrong. Was it the force of his blow across my face, ears ringing for 6min, long pause to register its wrongness? Or was its public nature- a ... Read More

Different Shades of Grief

How many things shall I grieve? I was watching THAPPAD. I thought about the people who have hit me. In plural. I had experienced enough of it before I touched adulthood. Yet, at 23, when a man I loved hit me, I knew something was wrong. Was it the force of his blow, right across ... Read More


It seems like I’ve healed every few weeks or months or years. “You’re sounding a lot better since that one conversation of ours in the coffeeshop” says one friend. And I believe it because I want to. I must. Forgetting (somedays I call it self-deluding) is an integral survival skill. I don’t know if it ... Read More

Always Make Room For The Flowers

This picture was shot by a sweet young photographer at an Open Mic event in 2012 when she spotted the flower in my hand. Photograph by Iza Viola for Big Mic gigs I was neck deep in a bad life. I had dramatically quit the respectable corporate-endorsed life two years earlier. I had wandered into something ... Read More

Shades Of Consent =============================================================== If you liked this post, you’ll want to follow the Facebook Page and the Youtube channel. I’m Ramya Pandyan (a.k.a. Ideasmith) and I’m on Twitter and Instagram.  

If I Were To Speak At Mark Salling’s Funeral

Glee actor Mark Salling was found dead a few hours earlier. He was 35 and was found hanging in the woods. He was also weeks away from being jailed after being found in possession of child p0rnography. There has been a slew of hate messages of the ‘He deserved it’ kind on social media, in ... Read More

From #PillowTalk To #ItHurts

Every piece of art or performance that I work on, is an emotion-mining experience. December has been an intense one, with SXonomics (my feminist collaboration with Dr.Ishmeet Nagpal). We started with a visit to Delhi, a place with which I’ve always had a complex relationship. I was born there. All my life I’ve associated it ... Read More

My #MeToo Checklist

1. Fondled by music teacher and made to touch him – CHECK 2. Breasts mauled by tailor while friend watched and apologised to him for having to leave his shop early – CHECK 3. Had to sit through ‘non-veg jokes’ by MBA college professor for fear of being thrown out – CHECK 4. Groped at ... Read More

An Unequal Music

After he broke my iPod (and it was almost comical since he had to smash it several times and jump on it to break), and his own, he bought me a new one. This despite my never wanting to see one again. Why would I? His music taunted my lack of intelligence and I was ... Read More

Wake Up And Smell The Bruises

I was with a friend last evening, driving around within a residential area’s bylanes, when we saw something. A couple was standing by the side of the road, clearly arguing. The guy, who was much taller and broader than the girl, was holding both her hands, while the girl seemed to be feebly protesting and ... Read More