Office Capers: Job Description – Fire fighting

I get people asking me what I do for a living, all the time. After much debate (with I, me, myself and an annoying group known as ‘the rest of the world’) I have reached the following conclusion: I am a fire woman. And here’s why:

I spend my day:

• Running from fire to fire (Client call! Urgent email! Flash meeting! Mobile phone ringing! Crunched deadline!)
• Poking through the remains left behind by idiots who fell asleep smoking (snoozing at their desks or out on smoke breaks when the deadline came and passed)
• Hastily putting out little fires that start (“The next person to start a dirty rumour about me will be found beheaded the next day!”)
• Dealing with explosive (people)….and er…being dealt with in this way.
• Diffusing potential flare-ups (“I’ve finished this week’s work already. Oh…uh…and here’s last week’s work as well)
• Damage control (“Hello, I’m so sorry about that….”, “I apologize for the inconvenience caused…”)
• Climbing onto collapsing shoulders and hoisting others on my crumbling ones (The you-scratch-my-back-I-scratch-yours principle of business management)

And here is why I may not be good at it:

• Other people throw cold water on my ‘fiery’ ideas
• I fan the flames of all the wildfire going by (It’s only a dirty rumour when it’s about me; when it’s about others, hell….its entertainment!)
• I slide down the pole (and the ladder of success) AFTER the job is over
• Thanks to the wicked Mumbai weather, I’m drenched before I even start work

I rest my case. And my briefcase, laptop, fire-hose and helmet.

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP* There’s the siren again…..