Office Capers: Lost In Translation

Some fun moments at work revolve around FF’s conversations. FF is gregarious and loves getting to know people, words, and customs. These days, his close crony is Tea-and-me (TNM)…you guessed it, the canteen-boy. TNM is fascinated by the ‘phoren mulga’ and FF on his part, loves chatting him up. TNM speaks halting Hindi and ‘chaan Marathi’ while FF drawls Americanese and occasionally ‘Indian‘. I’m tasked with the translation.

Me: Kitna hua?
TNM: Tera.
FF: What’s ‘tera’?
Me: Oh, thirteen.
FF: *Poring over the Hindi-English manual I’m compiling for him* Mai tera hoon!
TNM: Huh????
Me: Oh, very romantic! Look, now you’ve scared him away. We’ll get tea with poison in it now!
FF: What’d I say? I was telling him my age!
SNC: No, you said “I am yours!”

After a long discussion on the nuances of the Hindi language and its proper usage, we get back to work.

An hour later…

FF: So…how do I say “I want this?”
Me: Mujhe yeh chahiye
FF: Mujhe toom chahiye!!!!
Me: ???????
SNC: Hahahahhaha!
FF: Did I just say “I want you”?
Me: Yeah, but it sounds more like “I want to kidnap you”!
FF: Great, how do people ever get romantic in this country??????