I Miss
I miss my anonymity. I miss the nondescriptness of tacky, one-of-the-available-six templates of my blog. I miss the charm of, “So who is Ideasmith really?”-“I’m just a faceless voice. I’m just a statistic” conversations.
I miss the lightness of being unknown. I miss the comfort of merging into the masses. I miss being average. I miss having an unenviable life and one that people who do listen, are willing to commiserate with.
I miss the striving and the unawareness of drudgery. I miss the struggles from before they became stressful. I miss the gentleness of meaningless fantasies, cheap & plentiful like soap bubbles. Also just as pretty and joyful.
I miss being in my twenties. Come to think of it, I missed them the first time round too. Or maybe not. You don’t get to thirty-one (soon 32) without passing through 20, 21, 22…and so on. Even if you didn’t live them as you think you should have, even if you didn’t relish the meal, it did go down your throat, past your heart and right into you.
Very honest post.Thanks for sharing this.
@archana agarwal: Thank you very much. I hope you’ll drop in to The Idea-smithy again!
Being average has its own advantages.I was average in my school so teachers just dont have any expectations from me.It was lovely.But yeah in life you need to succeed to survive.Being Average wont do.
@seema sinha: Sad but true, isn’t it?
made me realize how much ‘rambler’ is blessed 😀
@Rambler: 🙂
32 has been lovely. And I think the trend will continue.
@Lakshmi: Fingers crossed!
Are you that famous? hehe, kidding.
I do this once in a while: Go for a trip/walk without wearing that expensive watch, no spectacles. Put on a sloppy outfit – not that I look absolutely dashing usually. On these walks, the type of conversations you have, the way people treat you are all different. The feeling of blending in is a psychological necessity. I just steal a pinch of it.
@Arun Vijayan: Famous? Certainly more than when I was anonymous, no? The offline actions would help if I really was a celebrity that way. But I was thinking of freedom to speak online. I’m not exactly chained but I do now have to write/speak within certain boundaries of propriety since people know me.