Overthunk
The strange conversations with friends are alarming at first and then amusing. At what point have I overthunk?
Picture this. A lazy Sunday, post-lunch langour, the blissfulness of knowing it’s icky-raining outside but you’re safe and dry indoors. The phone rings. The hand is reluctantly moved to hit the ‘answer’ button.
Hello? Yeah. Yeaaah. *Grin in my direction*. Haan. No, no. Yeah. Yeaaaah. Listen..oh, okay. Yeah. Yeaaaah. *One eye in my direction* Accha, sun. Haan. Yeaaaah. Okay, listen, I’m with IdeaSmith. Yeah. *Wide grin* Yeaaaah. Na, no problem. *Wider grin* Chalo, bye.
The grin is now self-satisfied. End of the picture.
A fortnight ago, we wined and dined with E Vestigio. Drinking happened, talking happened, joking happened and funny things happened. E summoned me out separately to tell me that yes indeed, she approved especially of the fact that ‘he’s not a fanboy’. Erm, okay?! Later I excused myself and when I came back, both wore smug grins and were toasting each other and the League of Extraordinary Drinkers while my first glass lay only half down. It is bizarre when your boyfriend bonds with your friends over things that don’t concern you.
He listens in rapt silence (yes, we’re still in that phase) and then says,
You….think too much! Why does it matter what anyone else thinks? My friends, your friends, how does it matter?
I cringe. That makes me sound like an attention-hound. But people do matter. My people’s opinions certainly matter. And his people are, well, his people. They matter to him and hence their opinions do too. He sniffs that he doesn’t care what anyone thinks or says. But how can it not??!!! I want to yell. How can I not care about people who seem to know my name and who I’m closely involved with? How can they not matter to me? He just shrugs and grins back at me and for the time being, the questions are laid aside.
Later in the evening, I speak to E and make a dinner date with her. I add that I invited the man to join but he declined saying that the two of us needed to catch up and bitch about him. She laughs,
“I bet that’s exactly what he’s afraid of!”
“Nope, he’s smug in the knowledge that you like him.”
“Well, that’s true. He’s great.”
“I know.”
I grin. I guess it works out fine whether or not you think about it.
