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  1. I read a fiction book recently, called “The Brief History of The Dead.” You may change your mind after reading that.

    And of course, reproduction is a selfish act. But it is also, quite literally, the purpose of life.

    Personally I find children fascinating, because their minds are clean slates and they’re much more rational, open minded and uninhibited than most adults. It’s amusing and enlightening to interact with them, I imagine that interacting with intelligent alien life will be similar.

    I have low emotional intelligence and empathy, but I have considered a variation of your adopt vs beget option. It is to have children and leave them completely free, to their own devices. Provided for and monitored, but not interacted with. How they develop as individuals will be an amazing insight into the human psyche.

  2. Well written and well thought. However, when you talk about adoption over giving birth, isn’t one and the other same thing? At the end of the day you become a mother and again you will be responsible for taking care and nurturing the child. So shouldn’t you be more concerned of staying away from motherhood altogether rather than thinking of other ways?

    1. @Vandana Srivastawa: Well-spotted! Actually I was tracing my own personal belief journey. A few years ago, I didn’t have a firm stand on whether I wanted to be a mother or not; only that I was leaning in the direction of adoption over birth. Deciding not to be a mother at all is a more recent decision and based on a different set of ideas. Both seemed relevant to point out in this conversation.

  3. Ramya, It was a must read, your blog. I have something to say, its a wicked world. because there is no a without a minus a, you’ve said about men. women in india , they have a single point agenda..blame it one the man. they fall in relationships to extract money, sex, and then blame it on the man, -youve ruined my life, my ego, my reputation blah blah..haha..next day you see her with another man and getting laid again for money. it is a circuit they have invented-you did this, you did that, get lost or I report you to police/elder brother/mamaji/office boss/roadsidehelp anybody will do…I’ve been in three abusive relationships with women, who want only money, sex and have already made plans to say things like..i am not satisfied, you did this, you did that..so now get lost. there are absolutely miniscule percentage of women, who stand by their decisions..they play thats all..boys/men anything will do for them..just splurge..and then many say..oh its a man’s world../men are mcp/ etc etc…the ones who marry..dominate like hell….every successful marriage means..women should dominate..manipulate les femme..they have strong manipulative genes/abusive stamina/dominance mania and generally jealousy, and many many times hatred. how does a man counter all this..many times by alcoholism, other times by voilence (unfortunately) and at many other times by “not being responsible”…you cannot be responsible if responsibility is what is being used to abuse you. so it takes two to tango!!

    1. @sumit: Thank you for visiting my blog and for commenting. I must warn you that I have very little patience with the kind of views you’ve expressed. Men are the privileged gender in this country by a wide margin. This goes across socioeconomic classes and geographies.

      The argument you’ve raised is the most common one online that men bring up when a woman speaks about gender equality. Reality does not match what you’ve said. Admittedly there would be some women who would manipulate people, relationships and laws to their benefit. These are a very tiny proportion, compared to the large numbers of women who are subjected to harassment, social censure and much more public scrutiny on a daily basis by the world around them.

      I must also ask you, how exactly do you know that this woman you speak about is ‘getting laid for money’ the very next day? Are you following the couple into their bedroom? Have you seen a transfer of money? You are making a very serious accusation. You might want to think about if it is your own sense of being rejected that makes you spew such venom about the woman and her future relationships.

      You’ve also mentioned that you’ve been in three abusive relationships. Are you aware of what constitutes an abusive relationship? Here is a directional guide to determine if you have. If this is true and you feel that you have been a victim, you are well within your legal and moral rights to report the perpetrator(s) to the law. You might also consider reading this: Men Are Just As Misinformed About Their Rights As Women

      Beyond this, I’m going to ask you not to spew in the comments on my blog, unless you have something logical to say.

      1. well, I am not against women, you seem to be against men for sure. I give almost undivided attention to women in a caring way and respectfully. What I am certain about is that, women like men in this country, are mischievous to a large extent. I am not afraid or threatened by your venom you have spitted. You dont seem to respect a differing point of view. Dont try to bully dear. And just for arguments sake, you are not the representative of women in this country merely by being a female. I have done much more in my capacity to help, befriend and support women who have come across me. As for following into bedroom to see transfer of money, neither do you have a camera to see who is abusing whom. But I work on facts, I work on investigations and then I state that it is for money that people I have come across, who happen to be females, do blackmail and manipulate. More men commit suicide than women. Delhi metro has officially released a report that 95% of pickpockets in Delhi metro are females. See don’t try to bully, or threaten any opinion differing from yours and please don’t think that you are the sole torch bearer for women rights. Most the women champion men as their companions when it comes to rights. men do more for women, than blog writers do. the man who come to deliver your gas cylinder lifting 25 kilograms on his back for merely 6000 rupees salary is not someone you can simply dismiss as being of a abusive gender. Look carefully and then make a wise assessment. You say that you dont have patience for opinions, well patience is a key virtue. Patience lets you see things as they are, not how you would like them to be. Many women suffer, so do many men. Many women suffer due to women, many men suffer due to women. Many men suffer due to men. My point dear is that EVIL does’nt have a gender. And I dont like to be bullied. I am going off your blog. My best wishes to you and no I dont spew venom, not atleast like you do. Your lingo is quite rash and abusive. You could have said, Your comments dont appeal to the author…and yes before you point fingers, try to be logical dear. Cool down if possible and relax.

  4. If a single guy around that age were able to express their thoughts ,they would have written pretty much the same thing.With only switching the gender.Most group of people have similar thoughts .

    1. @sam: Do they? I seem to know more women who have consciously thought about parenting than men. A lot of men who say they don’t want kids follow it up with something like “I’m still growing up myself!” which is more about not wanting to take any kind of responsibility whatsoever and less about making an active decision backed by logic.