Bollywood has been formulaic for more than a decade now. X number of songs, one superstar, rumours of a romantic linkup between co-stars, controversy…all of these have enjoyed the honour of prime ingredient. I think I’ve hit on the current favorite:

Indian actor Shah Rukh Khan, arrival for press...
Indian actor Shah Rukh Khan, arrival for press conference of "Om Shanti Om" at the Hyatt Hotel, Potsdamer Platz, Berlin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ageing actor + Badly behaved Khan = SUCCESS!

It worked well for Salmonella Can as it has in recent times for another Khan with a penchant for megalomaniac descriptions (King Khan! Don! Badshah!)

Indian actor Salman Khan
Indian actor Salman Khan (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If my Twitter timeline is anything to go by, it seems to be working well for Agent Vinod. For a safety measure, there’s also the star kid ingredient (in double) that’s been the base of every formulaic Bollywood film since the 90s.

Even if high visibility doesn’t translate to high sales (in most other sectors), in Bollywood it means a big Friday night rush at the box office. I’m told that can recover a massive chunk of the film’s costs and all else is bonus.

There’s something off-putting about this formula, for me at least. Agent Vinod was not high on my list of movies-to-watch. With this last incident, it’s just gone into never-will-watch, along with every single SRK movie after the Kunder-slapping episode. Then again, I’m probably not the target audience for these ‘marketing tactics’ and hence the products they’re selling. But since I am the target audience for the fluffy romances, the metrosexual froth and NRI movies that at least 2 of the Khans specialize in, aren’t they losing out a sizable captive audience in the long run?

But I suppose Bollywood only thinks as far as the next Friday.

Indian actor Saif Ali Khan at the 2011 Cannes ...
Indian actor Saif Ali Khan at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
One thought on “The Bollywood Formula”
  1. Just saw a candid shot of Shahrukh “Leatherface” Khan taken at an airport. He’s like a walking posterboy for anti-smoking.

    Saif, somehow always comes across as slightly oily (u know what I mean?) and gay.

    Salman, I place on top, despite his pathetic track record as a human being… probably due to the low BS factor. WYSIWYG.

    Stop hating on the Khans, it’s actually making me like u!!
    (this is where u instinctively need to clarify that ur not hating on anyone, just being objective, but don’t, since u don’t feed trolls. hehehe cheers, ramsypants!

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