Another crazy day at work. So of course I picked up several nuggets to blog about. My usual terminology of:
SNC (Someone from the next cubicle)
SFOS (Someone from the other side)
AKB(Allah ki bandi aka chamchi to Boss)
SNC: Tickets mil gaye….I’ll be landing at 11 a.m., meeting her then taking the 7:30 train back
God (aka da BOSS): Huh? Ladki ko milne jaa raha hai ki business deal sign karne jaa raha hai?
SNC: No such luck…opportunity costs estimate bhi nahin kar sakte hai, yehan par!
SFOS: Kamine…mereko always pata tha tu aisa hi hai!
AKB: Jealous or what?
SFOS: Hmph…you stupid females would never understand…this is higher love!
AKB and Me: *In splits*
God (aka da BOSS): But seriously, why don’t you stay over and take the train the next day
SNC: Na…will land there, meet her at the hotel, talk to her, take the train back, baat khatam!
AKB: Hmph…hotel mein? I know you, you besharam bugger
SNC: Huh! Only option is to go to her place. Wahan pe uske parents ke saath small talk, bhai ke saath choo-chaa…no time to talk to her at all!
Me: Perhaps you should have a timesheet drawn up for this:
05 minutes – freshening up before meeting
10 minutes – buying sweets and fruits
25 minutes – small talk with parents
20 minutes – hogging home-cooked lunch (and absolutely no extensions on this!!!)
20 minutes – taking leave or trying to to
02 minutes – figure out how to get her alone….
SNC: Usko message karoonga…..mobile kisliye diya hai usko?
Me: okay……10 seconds – SMS…..figure out the rest!
God (aka da BOSS): Maybe we should shift you into HR and Admin!!!
Me: Have mercy!!! All I was trying to do was help a distressed soul!
SNC: Haan….wohi karo and add “Making sadistic comments” as an entry on her timesheet!!
SFOS: Usne mere saath jhagda kiya!
God (aka da BOSS): What, now? But you said she was a very ‘quiet, homely type’!
SFOS: So she is…she says “I have three issues: You eat meat, you drink and you speak English”
All of us: HUHHHHH????????????
SNC: Pata hai, my parents had posted my ad in the newspaper matrimonials column. Unfortunately they ran it under “Men wanted” instead!
AKB: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH…..Yeh tere saath hi kyon hota hai?
SFOS: Phir kya hua? *Glaring*
Me: Yeah, go on tell him….he’s dying to beat up your admirers in any case…competition needs to be kept in its place!
SFOS: Grrrrr……tum log to samajhte hi nahin ho naa!
SNC: Yeah, just imagine mujhe kitne responses aaye honge for “Wanted beautiful, fair, god-fearing…”