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10 Comments

  1. Although the net can be good for finding partners and friends I don’t believe you really know someone until you have actually spent time with them. I have many online friends but even those I have know for a long time I don’t feel as close to as some of my ‘real-world’ friends that I haven’t know so long.
    Love your blog 🙂

    1. @John: I am a firm believer in the value of time spent on a relationship. So older associations definitely feel closer and more intimate than newer ones. I’m not so sure though about the offline versus online thing. Yes, it does feel like you know a person better in in-face interaction than with a medium but I’m guessing people said that about letter-writing and telephone calls too, once. But long-distance relationships have been sustained through these very media. Why will the internet be any different?

      And….thanks. 🙂 I hope you’ll drop by again!

  2. Its a strange thing this concept of pen-pals, email friends etc.. Of course it is a great connection thing. But one needs both, some real interaction face to face, possible because we read of other peoples actions too. And that is not visible via internet. We really don’t know how they react to what we say, we know how they will eventually think, but there is this extra thought htat goes into typing up stuff which is nt there when you interact face to face.

    ok thats more than you want to read..but you got to respond to comments…:)t

  3. i don’t know. it seems like people should be able to have normal relationships on the net, but you need to meet in person to be sure. chemistry has a lot of physicality attached to it.

  4. Personal experience.. that confirms “sunshine’s” suspicion..

    We met.. in real life.. there was a one-sided attraction in the beginning..and that’s what started the whole e-mail-affair.. if I can call it that..
    And it was intense.. Hours and hours and hours of emailing.. of refreshing the inbox .. WAITING for a reply…

    Then I left the country..
    Naturally.. feelings intensified coz of the separation… the emails got more verbose.. and we weren’t trying to put up any charade… we were more frank than we even really NEEDED to be.. we literally bared our souls to each other..

    And everything was FINE.. we were “officially” a couple.. till one fine day..after about a year.. we met again.. and for whatever reason.. there was no chemistry.. no timing.. it was just so WEIRD..
    We had gotten so much ahead as far as our email-relationship was concerned.. but our physical relationship.. and I’m not really talking about “physical intimacy or contact..” just a relationship without the Internet as a medium.. lagged far far behind..
    As soon as we got back to our terminals.. we were completely and hopelessly in love.. but whenever we met.. it was just ordinary…

    Naturally we broke up.. and people who knew both of us.. were SHOCKED..coz they felt we were perfect for each other.. and there was NO way to explain what happenened..
    I STILL don’t know what happened.. but the learning frm this experience.. was that.. you DO need the WHOLE deal…

    You need to associate and be able to “connect” using all mediums.. and even in the absence of all mediums..
    I know I’m talking about more “permanent” relationships here.. which might not have been the premise of this post !!

    long post this !

    -anon1

  5. I feel the net is just a medium… just like any other medium, like the newspaper or the fone, though a very powerful one, plus here you have the advantage of seeking out more like-minded people, the ones who share common interests.. but then, some of the worst disasters have been on the net. The point is, it should just be treated as a medium to meet people, and for the rest, use your brains and judgement…

    Plus, have you considered a point here? The person you have written about in this post might just be in love with the image of him she has created around herself? What happens when reality strikes and they meet is something yet to be seen….

    Sometimes, we just create images of people we have never met… while in real life, they might completely be different people. Good food for introspection…

  6. Nothing in this world should be defined and no parameters as a judgemental tool…if anything thats the bane of our society.Do as u please, feel as u please , fall if need be , rise from ashes and into ashes…thats my take

  7. Amen Smithy. I like the direction xxfactor is taking ;).
    The cloak of the internet shielding two individuals is not all negative. It often is what makes some lay out opinions, feelings, thoughts and emotions far more sincerely than the same person would in ‘real life’.
    And I for one have met more psychos offline than online!

  8. Iyer: I don’t agree. How much do we know of the other person if we were to have him/her near us? Yes to an extend its true. But I have had friends dating online and finally ending up getting married. I guess its all about trust. But if the person was to be a psycho…he would be in real life too…so the whole point of that uncertainty dies.

    Idea: It’s foolish to think that the body makes the relationship work. Yes to an extent…but it finally ends in our minds and hearts…I would say if u find a person compatible enough…go for it…